July 9, 2014

Priest vs. Single Mother: My Two Cents


It was yesterday when I saw the video showing a priest giving a sermon to a young, unwed mom in an angry and quite humiliating way. It was the lady's child's baptism.

You can see the video here: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=792490147452349

I wanted to react right then and there. This is because aside from being a single mom myself, I also experienced a "milder" form of bullying from a Catholic church worker during my son's baptism, too. Never mind the fact that I'm not Catholic in the first place. It's a long story.

But I chose to give my 2 cents a day after (which is today) to prevent myself from reacting from indignation.

As a single mom, too, I can strongly sympathize with the lady. That doesn't mean I admire what she did.
I know premarital sex is a sin, but I still committed it out of having a rebellious heart. I have since then acknowledged the sin and asked God for forgiveness. I repented, and you know what? God didn't condemn me. He never did. He blessed me and continues to do so. If the lady in the video had repented, I'm sure God doesn't condemn her. If she still hasn't, an encounter with a "worker of God" would have been a perfect opportunity to introduce her to God's Grace and Mercy.

Photo: http://wallpaper4god.com

Unfortunately, it became quite the opposite. Instead of showing her how merciful God is if she only asked for forgiveness, she received what appears to be condemnation.

Here are some things I'd like to point out after thinking about the issue:

1. The priest should have shown the lady grace, respect, and sympathy.

I know firsthand how frightening it is to have a child baptized on your own. It's doubly intimidating to stand with other complete couples. The lady was already in an insecure state, and she could've been asking for some comfort and strength from the Lord. A little grace, respect, and mercy would have given her the strength she needed.

2. Righteous anger is different from self-righteous anger.

Jesus got angry a number of times in the Bible, but all of these were righteous anger. Righteous anger is a kind of anger that is directed toward the sin, focuses on God, and is expressed in a godly manner. I'm sure the priest's anger was toward sin, but I'm not sure if the intention was to glorify God. I believe it was not expressed in a godly manner. The venue is not proper, and he used humiliating words and said them in a belittling manner. I believe the priest didn't practice self-control when he got angry, so I think it's not spirit-led.

3. What he did might have only sent people farther away from God.

If his actions were meant to glorify God, I believe the result should have brought more people to Him. But the comments I read can be divided into two. First, the people who already know Jesus know Jesus' true nature as forgiving and welcoming of sinners (not sin). Second are the people who don't know God at all. If the second group sees this supposedly godly person talk negatively of a lady who might already have repented, what idea of God do they gain?

4. He seems to have judged a young woman before God and before many people.
Photo from Pinterest

The message of the Bible about judging is pretty crystal clear: do not do it. I believe it's because we see only a fraction of a person. More importantly, we are all sinners; no exceptions. Thus, we shouldn't judge.

The only one who can judge us is God. Unfortunately, the priest lambasted the lady as can be seen in his choice of words. I don't think he just corrected her. If I'm not mistaken, he referred to her as "yabag" a couple of times, which is an insulting Bisaya word. In my humble opinion, he didn't have a right to do that. Only God is perfect. He knows 100% of that lady's thoughts and feelings. Only God knows her heart.

5. The priest should have proclaimed a message of love and forgiveness.

Mature Christians can deal with heavier topics like a God who disciplines and a God who allows evil to happen. But this lady might not be a mature Christian. She might not be a Christian at all. To help her know Jesus and accept Him into her life, she needs to acknowledge that she's sinned but she's forgiven if she repents. In fact, she needs to know that her sins were already paid in full at the cross. She needs to know just how much Jesus loves her and get overwhelmed at the thought. She needs to know these for her and her child's sake.

............

The saddest part here is that the lady may never again feel the urge to get close to God and really know him. Not some religion or doctrines but the real Him who is an endless source of Mercy and Love.

The saddest part here is that her child may grow up thinking he's unworthy of God because of the label given to him, that he's the fruit of a sin.

The saddest part here is that he may never know he's beyond that label.

The saddest part here is that he may never know that with the absence of a human father, God becomes his Father in all aspects.

The saddest part here is that the lady may never think she will ever be forgiven or redeemed.

Photo: whatchristianswanttoknow.com

............

I admit this part is a late addition to this post. The thought never occurred to me before and God just whispered it to me at 1am. The thought is this:
Just as the single mom needs grace, the priest needs it, too. Just like the single mom ought to be forgiven and accepted, the priest ought to be, too. The priest is only as broken as a human being could be. Only God can fix all of us. Just as the single mom deserves kindness, the priest deserves it, too.


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