I felt like crap yesterday.
And to be honest, I still feel a bit like it today.
In hindsight, when I broke the bathroom's lavatory faucet early in the morning, I should have known more "un-pretty" things would happen. But that would be very superstitious of me, and that wouldn't please God, so let's just chalk it up as the first "un" event.
I wasn't able to do all of my tasks because certain issues were pulling me down.
First, I lent a friend of mine a sizable amount of money more than a month ago. I know, I just don't know how to say no. And I'm confident she'd pay me back until she was hospitalized. She tried paying me half the amount she owed, but her office-mate, whom she asked to deposit for her (since she's in the hospital) took the money away. I'm feeling so bad for her, but at the same time, well, I need the money because Yuri's birthday is coming.
Next, I had a bit of trouble transacting with the human resource personnel of my employer. Uh, no, she just made it clear that I'm not employed under them as stated in the contract. That's not the point since I knew that from the beginning. All I needed was a piece of paper signifying that I'm "working" with them for a bank loan. - INSERT LONG STORY HERE-- Anyway, she didn't need to imply that she doesn't have to procure papers for me because I'm only a "service provider" (all tutors are) because I already know that. That's why I'm very apologetic and not demanding at all. All I needed was some compassion and a clear explanation, but I didn't get them. I know it's not her intention to do so but she made me feel un-valuable to the company.
(Disclaimer: I do enjoy working for this company. This is just an isolated case and I believe it's caused by stress from both parties.)
Third, I had to follow up on the repair being done to my camera. We're demanding for product replacement because the issue seems to be a hardware defect. It's very stressful.
Please don't tell me this is why you don't buy gadgets online. You have a point but it's the last thing I need to hear right now.
Fourth, my laptop battery has a problem. Yesterday, it took foreveeer to charge. I had it plugged to the charger the whole day and from 1% at 8am, it rose to 7% at 5pm. Today, it didn't charge at all. Plus, when I turned my laptop on, my Chrome browser lost my settings. What's wrong with my laptop? :-(
To top these all, our yaya has a tree-planting activity for school. She did tell me about it yesterday, but given all the stresses I encountered, it completely slipped my mind. Dapat sana she had the decency to remind me about it last night pero wala, dedma. So this morning, I was totally unprepared when she told me she's leaving for school. Thank God I prepared Yuri's breakfast last night.
I'm writing this post with a cute monkey on my lap.
Aside from these major issues, there were also minor ones like me losing an umbrella during the shoot of my sister's music video for school and broken electric fans (not my fault!), and Yuri being extra makulit in the bathroom. It's a pretty rough day yesterday.
Honestly, when I experience rough days, I find it hard to be grateful. Gratitude only comes naturally when we're happy, right? But when we're feeling down, it's hard.
Still, God convicted me to count my blessings. He wanted me to count my sources of happiness.
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| Photo: http://www.paperandglam.com/ |
And you know what? It's hard to stop after that. There was so much to be thankful for. Because of this faith exercise, I learned that the problems will never outweigh God's blessings simply because He is a faithful - and awesome - God.
It's even harder to stop once I got to the bigger things. Sustenance. Strength. Wisdom. Abundance (which, for me, simply means having a little more than enough!). Favor. Love.
Guidance. Lessons.
Salvation.
And all of a sudden, my problems appeared a lot smaller. They seemed like dust compared to my BOULDERS of blessings. How amazing are You, God? I am reminded of the saying, Don't tell God how big your problem is; tell your problem how big your God is. In times like this, it really makes a lot of sense.
God also reminded me that I should not let these little specks of dusts (the problems) steal my happiness. Quite hard to do because we're only human, but try surrendering your burdens to God. Sometimes we only need to be reminded that we're not alone. We might have to face a lot of problems, but God wants us to know that we never have to face them alone. He's always with us.
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| Photo: http://www.bloomtheblog.com |
Note to self: The next time you encounter another rough day, be very thankful because you're one step closer to becoming the precious gem you really are.
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