Anyone with a yaya or a maid will understand the "woes" that come with their service. I have a fair share of these woes, but I don't usually air them out here on my blog because I want to keep it positive and God-glorifying.
Also, I'm generally a forgiving perso. I don't like to hold grudges. Offense now, forget later. That's what I do to avoid stress and to try to please God. But this time, it's different. The things and values that I so uphold are compromised.
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First, Yuri's yaya is not a "full-time" yaya. I'm the one who feeds Yuri all three meals. I'm the one who bathes him. I'm the one who makes him go potty and wash him after. Sometimes it's also me who washes his soiled undies. I'm also the one who gets him to take a nap in the afternoon and cleans him up at night.
His yaya only takes care of him from around 8:30am - 11:45am and 3pm - 5:30pm. You read it right. She's completely free from lunchtime to 3pm. And when Yuri has to go potty during her "shift," I take over.
Second, even if her absences are frequent, there never was a "bawas" in her sweldo. Heck, I don't even subtract from her salary what I lose in mine due to the absences.
I hope you see that she has a lighter workload than most yayas. I treat her sooo well. I couldn't understand why she doesn't reciprocate.
PHASE 1 - DISRESPECTFUL
Lately, since last month actually, I've been having more work absences than the usual. This is a big deal because people close to me know that I almost never miss work. Even when I got sick. Even on my own birthday. I try to be dedicated and responsible.
As I was saying, I am having more absences now because Honey, Yuri's yaya, has had many school-related appointments. As someone who values education, I don't keep her from going. However, she's been getting into the habit of not informing us of these activities until the last minute.
Just yesterday, as I started working at 9am, she told me she needed to go to school after lunch. Wait, what? She has known since Sunday that she needed to go to school the next day but never told us even though there were many chances to do so. She was up early in the morning to help my sister and parents prepare for school, but she never uttered a single word. Yuri and I went downstairs at 7:30 and, you guessed it, she never told me.
Until it was already 9am. A mere 3 hours before she needed to go.
The problem here is that even though my job's time is relatively flexible, I still need to adhere to my committed schedule. If I can't man my shift, I need to tell my superior so that she could find a replacement for me. At 9am, nobody could look for a replacement. But this yaya of mine, she didn't care at all.
Worse, we just had exactly the same issue only a couple of weeks ago! That time naman, when I put Yuri to sleep and prepared to work beside him, she told my mom (who was on her way out din) that she needed to meet with her groupmates. My mom allowed her because she told her it would be a really quick meeting. Her words were, "Hindi pa gising si Yuri, nakauwi na ako." She was swearing up and down. Guess what? She didn't come home until 6pm. Guess who wasn't able to work and man her shift? Me.
I find this stupendously insulting because it's clear that she doesn't respect my time at all! I don't get it because I never feel comfortable about bothering other people - even her! And never had I forbidden her from going out, but she never considered the consequences for me. No, based on the frequency of this offense, she simple doesn't care. Worse, she never gets back on time.
Of course she got a mouthful from us last night. My weakness has always been my temper, and I've been trying really hard to control it. But it was difficult to do so last night when my own reputation and reliability at work were at risk.
PHASE 2 - UNGRATEFUL
Then, predictably, she cried. I told her she didn't have the right to cry because she was able to do what she wanted to do. You see, it was just an orientation she attended. She could have easily excused herself out of it. Her teacher even told us she could miss the orientation. But no, she still went and didn't tell us until the last minute. What made me even angrier was when she told me na "intindihin rin daw sya." Wow, kapal! Each time she asks for permission to do something, she is always allowed. She even has baon from us for crying out loud! If there was someone who lacked consideration, it was her!
But what made me really boil with anger was when she told us we can't understand her because she has a really hard time at school. Pagod na pagod na daw syang mag-aral. Ayaw na daw nya.
Seriously?! (Sunday) school started just a couple of weeks ago!
But aside from that obvious point, what she said hit close to home. It struck a nerve and I got so mad.
You should know that I was never a sheltered kid (unlike my sister). I was a working student through almost my entire college life. While many of my peers were also working, I know some of them only looking for something to add to their allowances. My reason for working was more, let's say, desperate. When I was a freshman, my dad had stroke and my mom had to look for the means to pay for the hospital expenses. Our appliances were pawned. Our own home was pawned. Creditors became a common sight to us. I didn't want to add to the burden, so I needed to work.
I was a Kumon teacher at 16, a private tutor at 17, an online tutor at 18. During my stint as a private tutor, I would finish work at 10pm, and in the shadier part of the city, I had to wait for a jeepney and travel back to my boarding house almost an hour away.
Take note that I was a 17-year old girl. Alone. Until this very day, I still thank God for covering me with utmost protection.
This girl, living in our home, is simply ungrateful. Even though she works as a yaya, her job is nowhere near as tiring and hazardous as my jobs before. And when I was in college, I had to fend for myself. Upon arriving from work, I had to look for a carinderia that was still open at 11pm so that I can eat dinner. Most of the time, I'll just buy noodles from a store and cook it. After that, I can finally study and do my assignments.
I did that routine every weekday. To say it was tiring is an understatement.
This girl didn't have to worry about food at all. In the morning, she has breakfast. She has baon for lunch (which she actually refuses because she wants to buy her own lunch like what her friends do). When she gets home at night, food waits for her.
This yaya of mine could even afford to buy new stuff all the time. She could buy clothes, pampa-beauty, even shoes. Heck she even got her haor rebonded. I didn't get to buy brand-new branded clothing until after I graduated.
This yaya of mine, when she needed something for school, just texts us to buy for her. I couldn't even do this to my own mother back in college. She already had so much on her plate during that time. (Of course, it got better with time.)
This girl didn't appreciate the value of education. She actually envied the other yayas who don't go to school. Ungrateful!
A person very dear to me didn't get to have the same opportunities as her. This person had to work straight out of high school simply because there were no opportunities present at that time. I know he would have been really grateful if he was able to have the same opportunity as Honey.
But this girl, she simply didn't care. She always wants the easy way out. What started as a relatively simple issue about her informing me of her absences way before she does get absent revealed her true nature.
Frankly I'm so disappointed with her. Because I put up with all the lying, laziness, and vanity because I believe she's got to be more than that. It's getting harder and harder to believe.
And her complain about being "tired" hurts me so much because truth be told, she has it a lot easier than I ever had. But never did I say that I'm tired of school. Never did I make my tiredness a reason to flunk my subjects (which I never did). My friends and family didn't even know just how tired I was!
So can you blame me for feeling this way? My parents, during that time, weren't able to provide for my wants and even for some of my needs. But I never lost my respect for them. I had it way harder than her, but I never, even for one second, felt ungrateful.
Photo: http://www.untilsheflies.com
I'm so sorry for this long post. I'm so sorry, Lord, for all the bitterness here. I just needed to sort these feelings out. Honestly, I don't feel better - I'm actually crying as I'm typing because I've never shared those college struggles and made a huge drama out of it. I guess I just need you to know.
PS: If you feel sorry for me, we are all in a better place now, both money-wise and health-wise. A much better place.
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