For A Special One

Source: http://thepleatedpolkadot.blogspot.com

Today is the birthday of one of the most important men in my life: Job!

As I was waiting for 12 midnight last night to greet him, I was innocently browsing posts upon posts about (my) Leo - the 90s Leo. Just an occasional binge session. I know Job will confidently say na ka-level nya lang si Leo, and if we were physically together, I would jokingly poke him in the ribs. Annoying! But still, no matter how big of a star Leo is, I will never replace Job with him.

Riiiight. As if may chance. Harharhar.

Anyway, as much as I would love to include a photo here, I still haven't recovered my photos from my old phone. So here's Leo:

GIF from a compilation in this beautiful Buzzfeed post

Hehehe. That's Leo for the benefit of you girls. I have a mental picture of my own Leo, thank you very much!

On a serious note, I have a personal prayer for Job. I actually pray about every aspect of his life daily, and today is no different. Most of all, I pray for his faith to grow even more stronger and for him to grow even closer to God.

But since my prayer is too personal, I decided not to share it here publicly. However, I got a couple of nice prayers from the interwebs (okay, Pinterest), and it is my hope that they will lead you to pray for your own relationships and special someones. Here they are:

Source: marydemuth.com

Source: thenewlywedpilgrimage.com

So ladies, let's not cease praying. Even when it's hard to do, even when it's inconvenient, as these are the times when we usually need to pray. Remember that we need to cover our loved ones, especially our partners and husbands, with prayer. Be blessed, everyone!

_________________________________________________________________

Do you like this post? Never miss out again when you click on the cute bunny below:

Or by entering your email here:

Enter your email address:


Delivered by FeedBurner

You can also follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest for daily updates on my mundane musings.

The Joys and Sorrows of 2014

I didn't have a year-ender post ready. In fact, I have not been up to blogging lately; I "forced" myself to write posts just so that my blog gets updated. It's not because I lost my mojo; it's because of the fact that this is the first Christmas season I faced as a yaya-less mother.

And I had been so busy.

I planned to just write something over the weekend to post on Monday, but last night (or early this morning, as I didn't get to sleep after Media Noche), I came across the post of one of my sorority sisters, which inspired me to write a similar one.

Can you, like, read it? Haha. Happy new year! 🎆🎉🎇🎊

A photo posted by Marie Angeli Laxa (@maanlaxa) on Dec 12, 2014 at 3:15am PST

2014 was certainly a rollercoaster ride for most of us. I can only speak for myself, though. I experienced many joys and sorrows, and I now realize that both are testimonies to the goodness and sovereignty of God. He is in charge. No matter what mistakes and wrong decisions we make, if we repent, God can still use them for his glory.

With this realization in mind, here are the joys and sorrows that God used in 2014 for His glory:

FAITH

SORROW: I very recently backslid - a little - in faith. I underwent a spiritual attack, and this is one of the reasons why I didn't have the drive to write. I don't know; suddenly, I couldn't pray and I kept doing this specific thing that I had already rebuked when I became a Christian years ago. It was a low moment.

JOY: But God helped (helps) me overcome the weakness. It was a struggle but God sent trials along the way to shake me up. There were warnings after warnings and finally, I stopped doing the sin that I kept on doing. Just like that. Some of you may be skeptical, but that's always the way God works in my life: perfectly.

LOVE

SORROW: Well, I'm still not with Job - physically. My family is still technically incomplete, and there are times when I question whether we should keep waiting or not.

JOY: But the strength of our relationship is a testimony to how faithful God is. Everyday, it reminds me that we just have to wait for God's perfect timing. For the record, I can't count how many astonished glances I've seen whenever I mention that we are in a long-distance relationship. We had been in an LDR for 3 years. Frankly, I know we can't do it alone; I would have been astonished, too. But we need to completely depend on God for this relationship to work, and I have to tell you that because of the dependence, the relationship is a lot easier and smoother to manage.

Source: biblia.com

STRENGTH

Choose to be Good

I have a confession to make.

I regret writing all those negative posts about my yaya. Don't get me wrong; they are all true. And it did feel good to finally let the rants out from my system. But afterward, it's still me who has to deal with the negativity, and it's me who indelibly marked my blog with complaints that are better left in my private life.

And most of all, I failed to keep this blog positive (little pieces of happy? seriously, Maan?) and more importantly, God-glorifying.

I tried to uplift the situation by reminding myself that despite her many flaws and offenses, I am extremely blessed to have her as she does truly love my son like her own brother. To be honest, I don't know what I would have done without her. It occurred to me that I might not find another yaya who loves Yuri as much as she does.

But I guess it was too late; negativity has already prevailed.

I shared this with Job the other night. Actually, I kept the details a secret because he knows Honey's offenses, and if he knows I'm referring to her, he would surely take my side. As seeker of his advice, I wanted - needed - him to be neutral.

I told him about it as vaguely as possible. I mentioned that lately, I was being mean and it's disconcerting (for me) how easy it's becoming for me to speak ill of another person.

He wisely chose to not give me a sermon (he never does, actually). Instead, he told me this (translated to English from Filipino):

The truth is that we are given only two choices in life: the good and the bad. As Christians, we should always strive to do what's right in God's eyes, even if most of the time, it's the harder choice.

His words were very simple, but they hit my core. Yes, Job is right. I can only choose to either do good or do bad, and for God, I should strive to always choose good. Do good, speak good, even see good.

Then he gave me a Bible verse. I initially thought it would have to be a sermon or a warning. But I was wrong as Job's verse for me was no other than God's Promise of Restoration:

Image: http://christianvinylwallart.com

I know that context-wise, it was a promise meant for Israel, but heart-wise, I know God also has me in mind during that time. There was truly no verse more perfect than this one that God told Job to give me!

I felt so blessed with the promise that despite my many flaws and offenses (sound familiar?), I will be forgiven as I am loved.

Which reminds me to always choose forgiveness and love, too. Let's choose to do good.

PS: If I happen to have single readers out there, I pray that you find a Christian man who has a personal relationship with the Lord and is strong enough in faith to guide you spiritually. Amen?

_________________________________________________________________

Do you like this post? Never miss out again when you click on the cute bunny below:

Or by entering your email here:

Enter your email address:


Delivered by FeedBurner

You can also follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest for daily updates on my mundane musings.

If you have to marry your partner where you met them, where would that be?

I just saw this photo on my Facebook feed today and it caught my attention. I was like, thank goodness I don't have to do that because if I have to marry Job at the place where we met each other, it would be at the....

hospital.

Long story! Let's just say he and my brother (who did not know each other) met separate vehicular accidents almost at the same time. It sounds funny now, but I pray that never happens again! :D

Now, what about you? If you have to marry your partner where you met them, where would that be?

_________________________________________________________________

Do you like this post? Never miss out again when you click on the cute bunny below:

Or by entering your email here:

Enter your email address:


Delivered by FeedBurner

You can also follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest for daily updates on my mundane musings.

Love Doesn't Keep Record of Wrongs

Boy, did this line from the letter to Corinthians ever hit so close to home. Here's why.

Remember how I talked about having a misunderstanding with Job last Monday? We were finally able to sort things out just Wednesday night (I actually wrote this post after we made up).

My issue was that I felt he was giving more time to his work than to me. Quite selfish, I know. I'm willing to understand, but Monday was a special day for us, and I really felt he should've at least saved even just a few minutes to talk to me.

(We did talk, but not the kind of talk that I wanted. What can I do? I'm a girl!)

But in my defense, motherhood can be lonely. Staying at home every day can be even lonelier. And I tend to get fixated with the loneliness, so I collect stories along the week and look forward to sharing them Job. And when my "bonding" expectations aren't met... I guess you can guess what happens next.

(I also guess now you sort of understand why I blog: I have so many stories saved in my head!)

Yes, for what seems to be a petty issue, it took me 3 days to forgive.

To be fair, it was really hard to communicate. We still keep what we promised to only talk on Sundays, but this was an exception since we were having an issue. But since both of us are busy, the only time we get to talk is at night.

And if you must know Job, let's just say he's extremely protective of his bedtime. No one, I mean no one can get in his way if he wants to sleep.

That's aside from the fact that, as wonderful as he is, he can be dense sometimes. Men!

The bonus part is that he's been working harder these days so he's more tired. Tired = denser = earlier bedtime = not interested in long talks. So on Monday and Tuesday night, instead of being able to talk it over, he fell asleep before we ever reached closure. Instead of getting over the issue, I was getting more and more frustrated!

I was also getting more hurt because I felt that his actions only showed what I told him that he doesn't have time for me anymore.

You see, Job is a conflict-avoider. He prefers to just say "sorry" to prevent a fight. In other words, para hindi humaba ang usapan. He lives by this proverb:

Image from Pinterest

And I hate that because I feel that he doesn't take the time to really understanding my point and my feelings.

He was also frustrated because he couldn't understand why I couldn't forgive.

What I Want for my Birthday

I'm an old soul.

This Saturday, I'll be 24, but to tell you the truth, I feel much much older. Not physically (thank God!) but emotionally and mentally and, maybe, spiritually, too. And I attribute this not to motherhood.

My 2-year old made this "cake" for me. It was modeled after his own car-themed birthday cake. He said "Pi burtday to you!"

Let me tell you a secret: 

Ever since I started school, when I was around 5 or 6 years old, I already felt much older than my classmates. Ironically, I was always one year younger than all of my classmates all throughout my academic "career," but it didn't feel that way. Somehow, I just felt more mature than they were. And many can attest to that. In fact, when I was in first grade, I felt happier to be around with my friends' moms than with them.

I have the feeling that being an old soul was one of the things that helped me cope with motherhood so easily!

I am thankful, though, that to strike the balance, I also have a young heart. Win-win, right?

So this year, I'm turning 24. Still very young, but I love to think I am more mature than the rest of my peers. After all, I'm mothering a 2-year old! I guess this old soul of mine has also affected the things that I want to attain in my life.

I think I got into the phase of being materialistic for only a short while in my life - that was when I started being a working student back in college. Today, while material things give me temporary joy, I aim to have "higher" standards of happiness. For my 24th year, these are some of what I hope to achieve with God's grace and in his divine timing:

To Fall for the Second Time

Job and I talked over the phone last night.

If you have ever been in a long-distance relationship, you would understand how special those phone calls are.

And in a different kind of long-distance relationship like ours, where we both agreed to minimize communicating in order to grow in our personal relationships with the Lord first, these phone calls are almost like a piece of heaven on earth.

We do talk every week, but last night's talk left a different impression on me. I don't know.  We didn't talk about anything new or anything really "special." In fact, all we did was the usual: updated each other, listened to Yuri talk and sing, talk some more, laughed. But, I don't know. I felt like I was really contented to just keep quiet and listen to him drone on and on about mundane stuff.

And when we laughed together, I felt more than the usual longing that I feel every time we talk. That night, I almost felt my heart jump. For the first time (in forever?), I finally understood what heartstrings were and how they can be tugged by such a normal thing as laughter.

I felt I was falling in love with him for the second time.

And I wanted to tell him that because recently, he told me I wasn't being expressive anymore. At first, I took offense but later on realized that he was right. I wasn't thinking of the relationship anymore. It's probably because I felt secure in it, which is good, but security shouldn't mean being lax. So I've been making the effort to be more expressive.

But I discovered that saying "I love you" is much easier than saying "I'm falling in love with you" or "I'm falling in love with you again." For a person like me who is not, by nature, affectionate, while the former comes naturally (and, sometimes, automatically), the latter is actually quite scary.

But I did it. I told him that I could listen to him talk about church, his job, his start-up "mini-farm," what he read in the Bible, and what he loves about Yuri forever. I told him that just listening to him laugh got me all "kilig." Is there even an accurate translation for that? I don't think so hehe.

I told him I think I just fell in love with him again. It's not in my nature to do that, but I did, because he deserves to know that after all these years, he still has that effect on me.

The funny thing is that the night before that, I asked God for clearer guidance for our relationship. God put this thought in my head: Because you asked me to take control of your life, do not worry, for your thoughts and feelings are mine.

And God placed this feeling in my heart for Job for a reason. He even magnified it last night.

Photo: walkuponwaters.tumblr.com

I didn't think it was possible to keep on falling in love with the same person. I thought love was a process. You get interested in a person, you discover his personality, you fall in love, you get to know each other more, and you get comfortable with each other so that you feel as if you've known each other forever. And that's it, a linear process, not a circular one.

But what I just felt last night was wonderful. I felt that God placed the feeling of falling in love again in my heart so that, finally and ultimately, I will stop worrying and realize that this feeling is from Him and nothing is wrong with it.

To be completely honest, though I'm crazy about Job, last night's feeling was less about him and more about God. It was like He was telling me that He wouldn't place such an immense feeling in my heart if He didn't have great plans for the relationship.

Photo: typographicverses.com

What a wonderful promise.

How about you? Have you ever felt the same with the person you love? I'd love to hear your story!

_________________________________________________________________

Do you like this post? Never miss out again when you click on the cute bunny below:

Or by entering your email here:

Enter your email address:


Delivered by FeedBurner

You can also follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest for daily updates on my mundane musings.

On Gratitude and Long-Distance Relationships

I'm a firm believer in gratitude. I'm a firm believer in giving thanks. I don't scrimp on thanking people. You can just give me P10 for my jeepney fare and I will be forever thankful.

Photo: kellymaxfit.wordpress.com

Last night, though, I found it hard to have an attitude of gratitude. As a little backgrounder, Job and I talk every night about work, what happened that day, mundane stuff, future plans. You know, the usual kamustahan. However, due to busyness (his mostly), we weren't able to talk much for the past few days. Then, last night, just as we were finally able to talk again, he slept. He was too tired from work, and he slept.

It wouldn't have been a big deal for some, but for me, it is. You see, when you are in a long-distance relationship, talking is very important. I couldn't emphasize its importance more. Because, hello, you don't see each other na nga, you don't talk pa. For someone like me, nakakaloka yun.

So I did not talk to him. Before I slept, I wanted to pray, but somehow, I knew my heart wasn't in the right place. I couldn't genuinely be grateful. Then, I remembered this quote:

Photo: www.etsy.com

That jolted me because despite his flaws (nobody is perfect), I don't want to lose Job. I am thankful for having him and Yuri in my life, and I know I should always be thankful for having them.

Well, that's when I remembered that despite the frequency of our spats (mostly because of my hormones), they remain to be petty and nothing serious. I need to thank God for that and for the fact that he never lost his cool on me. Also, I need to thank God that Job was busy because of work and not because of something else (you know). I even need to be thankful that we both have work in the first place.

Frankly, I'm still not talking to him. Not because I don't "forgive" him for sleeping on me but because, well, I need more lambing pa. Hehehe. I've always played hard-to-get even when we started dating. And now I know that I should be thankful for a lot of things about him and this relationship.

What are you thankful for today?

_________________________________________________________________

Do you like this post? Never miss out again when you click on the cute bunny below:

Or by entering your email here:

Enter your email address:


Delivered by FeedBurner

You can also follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest for daily updates on my mundane musings.