Officially Employed with the Perfect Gigs

I know it has been more than a week since we arrived from our vacay (which I promise to write about this week - promise), but this is my first Monday with my new job after the first weekend that I did not have to go to class. (I just graduated!)

Side note before I begin: I really miss going to class. I enjoyed every second of it, and now, I have my weekends back, but I kinda feel lonesome. Huhu. Not to mention board exams are fast approaching!

Back to the show. Oh yes, I have a new job. It's still homebased, but I'm actually employed now and not just a freelancer. I've been connected to a particular company since 2011 and have worked with them full-time since 2012, but I did not have an "employed" status. Nobody among us did as we were considered service providers.

The circumstance was fine because I controlled my own time and I could work and not work whenever I wanted to (which is, of course, subject to certain conditions). I also did not have to report to a particular employer though we worked with teams. The setup was perfect for a work-at-home mom, and I used to recommend the job to everyone.

I first started to see the downside of the job when I decided to get my own property. Since it was under my name, I needed to produce my own employment certificate. I could not get one from our company because my status was service-provider, not employee. It caused a lot of trouble on our part, but thanks to God, it all turned out well. I was never able to get an employment certificate bt the way.

I still continued to work for the company because, honestly, I loved the job. I like helping students improve their work and the thought that my suggestions and comments might have helped them attain a higher grade.

But early this year, if you remember, I got into a career dilemma as we underwent a lot of changes. Still undergoing changes as a matter of fact. And when I weighed my options, I realized that though I still wanted to improve as a teacher, it ceased to become the practical choice. Instead of earning a particular amount per hour, because of the changes, inevitably, my earnings also decreased; they were slashed into more than half. I knew then that I should start looking for new opportunities.

I started by accepting a part-time writing job for a client who owns the Christian company, Memory Cross. This was truly a blessing for me not only because my client is good (supervises but does not micro-manage, criticizes and praises) but also because my job helps me grow as a Christian. It also pays really well for a job that requires just two (2) articles per week.

Source: benziher.wordpress.com

My setup last month was to work this part-time job, work occasionally for my old job, and write freelance. Suffice to say, it was stressful and, financially, I had to keep borrowing from Job. In other words, the tiring setup was fruitless.

The Story of Yuri's First Bible

We are able to buy Yuri's first Bible November pa of last year so this is a late, late post!

Anyway, we really wanted to buy Yuri his own complete Bible months before Christmas. We have Bible stories naman, some sets here and there, but we wanted to buy an age-specific complete Bible to imbibe the habit.

So last year pa, I was so busy looking for appropriate Bible. Unfortunately, the ones that are available on local online stores don't have favorable reviews on Amazon. I don't know why din, during that particular time, there weren't many early learners' Bibles in the local National Bookstores. (Ngayon marami-rami na, and that was just months ago!)

Because of that, I decided to order one from Amazon.

That was my last resort because even though stuff are generally cheaper from Amazon than locally, I didn't want to pay extra for shipping. More than that was the hassle of having to deal with more transactions.

However, I still wishlist-ed my choices. Despite the immense popularity of The Jesus Storybook, I didn't like it because it was extra-biblical. I like to be conservative and stick to those that are strictly Biblical. One of my codes was The Lion Storyteller Bible. But it's published for an older crowd (5 year olds +).

Image from Amazon

I didn't order right away because I was still weighing the options. Well, it was mainly because I was reluctant to order a book abroad.

Until one day, I found myself in Abreeza. We weren't supposed to be in Abreeza but just decided to eat lunch there because we were already hungry. I never expected to see this popup booth in the middle of the the second floor.

It's only the booth of OMF Literature, one of the best Christian bookstores and distributors in the country. Of course I needed to check.

How I Came to Like Pope Francis

Although my mother wrote "Catholic" in one of my recent real estate forms with conviction, I simply am not. Although I conform to their way of prayer and going to church, I am doing so out of a desire to obey. I am a Born Again Christian, and though I believe Catholics are Christians, too, there are many aspects of the system that I can't adhere to.

One of them is the concept of a "Vicar of Christ" or a person who represents Jesus on earth. Jesus is not absent in the first place and doesn't need a proxy. If there's a "Vicar of Christ," it should be the Holy Spirit.

Source: http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org

Since the concept is not in the Bible, I cannot subscribe to the idea in peace. The same goes for apostolic succession.

That doesn't mean I don't view Pope Francis as a godly Christian leader. In fact, in my eyes, he is that. I expect him to be that.

I was initially touched when I found out he wanted to visit the typhoon victims in Tacloban. Pope or not, I believe this is a good example to follow when it comes to loving the poor. But to be completely honest, I considered that it could be just another publicity stunt for popularity.

I guess I've been a doubting Thomas.

So yesterday, when he arrived in the country, despite my sister's excitement, I feigned nonchalance and continued doing my basic Pilates. Which is very hard, by the way. Oh the things you do for love.

And I digress. Anyway, so the Pope arrived and the crowds on TV were cheering. Almost every post on my social media feeds was about him. Then he finally stepped out of the plane and his cap was blown by the wind. I smiled and my tween sister couldn't stop laughing.

Source: dailymail.co.uk

I must admit that he seems to radiate godliness when you look at him. I was touched when I saw him hugging the little boy. He must be genuine after all. Of course, my skeptical self quickly caught up and I thought maybe, again, this was just a popularity stunt.

Why did I keep accusing the Pope of this? It's because I judged him through the articles written about him. Articles that portray him as a Pope who was willing to compromise what is written in the Word to be popular. Which, in hindsight, could be incorrect. In my judgmental eyes, I was convinced that you couldn't just believe that a person is godly based on what you see.

Then the irony hit me like a ton of bricks.

I came to like the Pope not because of what he did and not because of what I read or heard or saw. It's because of what God clearly told me that afternoon.

My opinion was that "... you couldn't just believe that a person is godly based on what you see." How hypocritical of me. If I shouldn't like a person based on what I see, what made me think judging was any different? I shouldn't judge a person based on what I see because I cannot see his heart. Only God can. I need to be wary of declaring people as inauthentic in their faith just the same as I need to be wary of believing anything thrown at me.

In other words, I should be slow to judgment and criticism. Instead, I need to be more compassionate and believe in the goodwill of people - or believe in the presence of goodwill in the first place. Those were the words God spoke to me when I knee-deep in judging and criticizing.

Pope Francis had been an undeserving victim of my unfair prejudice. With that said, let me clarify that I look up to him as a Christian Church leader, nothing more and nothing less. But now I truly want to believe in his goodwill and godliness and that he doesn't have agenda other than bringing the Light of Christ to those who need it.

I only hope the people view him as a human leader, not as someone divine, certainly not God.

What are your thoughts on his visit?

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My Pursuit of Happiness

Hello, I'm back!

*kru kru kru*

Thanks for the warm welcome, guys!

So I had a blogging hiatus. I felt so down last week not only because of a friend's death but also because my words were mocked in an article that opposed my view.

I wanted to copy the words here (and cite the author, of course) but decided against it at the last minute. I don't want to link to it, but most importantly, I don't want to read my blog in the future and have to read her words again. The author, who is a professor pa naman from UP Mindanao, lifted my words from my post, Let Me Grieve, and didn't even credit me, to show everyone that some people's priorities are askew.

Apparently, according to that author, I am one of those people.

To tell you the truth, I got so mad. Even now when I attempted to copy what she wrote, I got a little miffed again. I get it. I understand that she thinks the NPA movement is noble. She and I have different views. But do I have to get mocked for her to deliver her sentiments? As a writer who speaks out her mind (more than what is necessary), I will never go as low as that.

More importantly, she didn't have to belittle my faith. She didn't know what conversations I had with Perper about it. She didn't even know Perper in the first place! I never directed offense at anyone in my post, so why was I getting attacked?

Source: bible-quote.deviantart.com

But you know what, the article, despite being offensive, made me think. Am I really pursuing meaningless happiness? Here are the things I wrote that I think my friend - and everyone - deserved:

The Book of Revelation Made Clear (Tim LaHaye and Timothy E. Parker)

As a child, the Book of Revelation fascinated and, at the same time, scared me. There was just something mysterious about the symbols and disasters illustrated in the book.

My preception of the chapter only changed when I became a true Christian and I realized it's not meant to be understood in its own; instead, it should be read once you earn a firm foundation of faith and knowledge.

It also should be read through a firm Christian perspective and not as a horror book meant to scare. That's why it is important to study it. Enter the book "The Book of Revelation Made Clear" by Tim LaHaye and Timothy E. Parker. This is a book written as a study guide which dissects the sections of Revelation, helping the readers understand the symbols and points correctly.

Choose to be Good

I have a confession to make.

I regret writing all those negative posts about my yaya. Don't get me wrong; they are all true. And it did feel good to finally let the rants out from my system. But afterward, it's still me who has to deal with the negativity, and it's me who indelibly marked my blog with complaints that are better left in my private life.

And most of all, I failed to keep this blog positive (little pieces of happy? seriously, Maan?) and more importantly, God-glorifying.

I tried to uplift the situation by reminding myself that despite her many flaws and offenses, I am extremely blessed to have her as she does truly love my son like her own brother. To be honest, I don't know what I would have done without her. It occurred to me that I might not find another yaya who loves Yuri as much as she does.

But I guess it was too late; negativity has already prevailed.

I shared this with Job the other night. Actually, I kept the details a secret because he knows Honey's offenses, and if he knows I'm referring to her, he would surely take my side. As seeker of his advice, I wanted - needed - him to be neutral.

I told him about it as vaguely as possible. I mentioned that lately, I was being mean and it's disconcerting (for me) how easy it's becoming for me to speak ill of another person.

He wisely chose to not give me a sermon (he never does, actually). Instead, he told me this (translated to English from Filipino):

The truth is that we are given only two choices in life: the good and the bad. As Christians, we should always strive to do what's right in God's eyes, even if most of the time, it's the harder choice.

His words were very simple, but they hit my core. Yes, Job is right. I can only choose to either do good or do bad, and for God, I should strive to always choose good. Do good, speak good, even see good.

Then he gave me a Bible verse. I initially thought it would have to be a sermon or a warning. But I was wrong as Job's verse for me was no other than God's Promise of Restoration:

Image: http://christianvinylwallart.com

I know that context-wise, it was a promise meant for Israel, but heart-wise, I know God also has me in mind during that time. There was truly no verse more perfect than this one that God told Job to give me!

I felt so blessed with the promise that despite my many flaws and offenses (sound familiar?), I will be forgiven as I am loved.

Which reminds me to always choose forgiveness and love, too. Let's choose to do good.

PS: If I happen to have single readers out there, I pray that you find a Christian man who has a personal relationship with the Lord and is strong enough in faith to guide you spiritually. Amen?

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Teaching Toddlers Obedience

Image: mirror.co.uk

Is your toddler testing your patience by testing his limits?

I want to begin this post with this disclaimer: I don't know much. Yuri is my only child and he did just turn 2 five months ago (he's 29 months today!). Which means my experience as a mom to a 2-year old is not worth anything, really.

But let me tell you this: I've never experienced a "terrible 2" moment. Yet. Seasoned moms will tell me that I'm speaking too soon, and maybe I am, but apart from the fact that Yuri is not really prone to throwing tantrums (he is kinda dramatic though...), we're beginning to curb the tendencies by teaching him to obey.

Priest vs. Single Mother: My Two Cents

It was yesterday when I saw the video showing a priest giving a sermon to a young, unwed mom in an angry and quite humiliating way. It was the lady's child's baptism.

You can see the video here: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=792490147452349

I wanted to react right then and there. This is because aside from being a single mom myself, I also experienced a "milder" form of bullying from a Catholic church worker during my son's baptism, too. Never mind the fact that I'm not Catholic in the first place. It's a long story.

But I chose to give my 2 cents a day after (which is today) to prevent myself from reacting from indignation.

As a single mom, too, I can strongly sympathize with the lady. That doesn't mean I admire what she did.

Love Doesn't Keep Record of Wrongs

Boy, did this line from the letter to Corinthians ever hit so close to home. Here's why.

Remember how I talked about having a misunderstanding with Job last Monday? We were finally able to sort things out just Wednesday night (I actually wrote this post after we made up).

My issue was that I felt he was giving more time to his work than to me. Quite selfish, I know. I'm willing to understand, but Monday was a special day for us, and I really felt he should've at least saved even just a few minutes to talk to me.

(We did talk, but not the kind of talk that I wanted. What can I do? I'm a girl!)

But in my defense, motherhood can be lonely. Staying at home every day can be even lonelier. And I tend to get fixated with the loneliness, so I collect stories along the week and look forward to sharing them Job. And when my "bonding" expectations aren't met... I guess you can guess what happens next.

(I also guess now you sort of understand why I blog: I have so many stories saved in my head!)

Yes, for what seems to be a petty issue, it took me 3 days to forgive.

To be fair, it was really hard to communicate. We still keep what we promised to only talk on Sundays, but this was an exception since we were having an issue. But since both of us are busy, the only time we get to talk is at night.

And if you must know Job, let's just say he's extremely protective of his bedtime. No one, I mean no one can get in his way if he wants to sleep.

That's aside from the fact that, as wonderful as he is, he can be dense sometimes. Men!

The bonus part is that he's been working harder these days so he's more tired. Tired = denser = earlier bedtime = not interested in long talks. So on Monday and Tuesday night, instead of being able to talk it over, he fell asleep before we ever reached closure. Instead of getting over the issue, I was getting more and more frustrated!

I was also getting more hurt because I felt that his actions only showed what I told him that he doesn't have time for me anymore.

You see, Job is a conflict-avoider. He prefers to just say "sorry" to prevent a fight. In other words, para hindi humaba ang usapan. He lives by this proverb:

Image from Pinterest

And I hate that because I feel that he doesn't take the time to really understanding my point and my feelings.

He was also frustrated because he couldn't understand why I couldn't forgive.

Yaya Woes: Disrespectful, Ungrateful

I'm supposed to blog about my birthday today but couldn't because I'm in such a high negative emotional state.

Anyone with a yaya or a maid will understand the "woes" that come with their service. I have a fair share of these woes, but I don't usually air them out here on my blog because I want to keep it positive and God-glorifying.

Also, I'm generally a forgiving perso. I don't like to hold grudges. Offense now, forget later. That's what I do to avoid stress and to try to please God. But this time, it's different. The things and values that I so uphold are compromised.

Photo: http://meetville.com/

Before I rant and before you judge me as a really strict and inflexible employer, let me give you some background.

First, Yuri's yaya is not a "full-time" yaya. I'm the one who feeds Yuri all three meals. I'm the one who bathes him. I'm the one who makes him go potty and wash him after. Sometimes it's also me who washes his soiled undies. I'm also the one who gets him to take a nap in the afternoon and cleans him up at night.

His yaya only takes care of him from around 8:30am - 11:45am and 3pm - 5:30pm. You read it right. She's completely free from lunchtime to 3pm. And when Yuri has to go potty during her "shift," I take over.

Second, even if her absences are frequent, there never was a "bawas" in her sweldo. Heck, I don't even subtract from her salary what I lose in mine due to the absences.

I hope you see that she has a lighter workload than most yayas. I treat her sooo well. I couldn't understand why she doesn't reciprocate.

What I Want for my Birthday

I'm an old soul.

This Saturday, I'll be 24, but to tell you the truth, I feel much much older. Not physically (thank God!) but emotionally and mentally and, maybe, spiritually, too. And I attribute this not to motherhood.

My 2-year old made this "cake" for me. It was modeled after his own car-themed birthday cake. He said "Pi burtday to you!"

Let me tell you a secret: 

Ever since I started school, when I was around 5 or 6 years old, I already felt much older than my classmates. Ironically, I was always one year younger than all of my classmates all throughout my academic "career," but it didn't feel that way. Somehow, I just felt more mature than they were. And many can attest to that. In fact, when I was in first grade, I felt happier to be around with my friends' moms than with them.

I have the feeling that being an old soul was one of the things that helped me cope with motherhood so easily!

I am thankful, though, that to strike the balance, I also have a young heart. Win-win, right?

So this year, I'm turning 24. Still very young, but I love to think I am more mature than the rest of my peers. After all, I'm mothering a 2-year old! I guess this old soul of mine has also affected the things that I want to attain in my life.

I think I got into the phase of being materialistic for only a short while in my life - that was when I started being a working student back in college. Today, while material things give me temporary joy, I aim to have "higher" standards of happiness. For my 24th year, these are some of what I hope to achieve with God's grace and in his divine timing:

To Fall for the Second Time

Job and I talked over the phone last night.

If you have ever been in a long-distance relationship, you would understand how special those phone calls are.

And in a different kind of long-distance relationship like ours, where we both agreed to minimize communicating in order to grow in our personal relationships with the Lord first, these phone calls are almost like a piece of heaven on earth.

We do talk every week, but last night's talk left a different impression on me. I don't know.  We didn't talk about anything new or anything really "special." In fact, all we did was the usual: updated each other, listened to Yuri talk and sing, talk some more, laughed. But, I don't know. I felt like I was really contented to just keep quiet and listen to him drone on and on about mundane stuff.

And when we laughed together, I felt more than the usual longing that I feel every time we talk. That night, I almost felt my heart jump. For the first time (in forever?), I finally understood what heartstrings were and how they can be tugged by such a normal thing as laughter.

I felt I was falling in love with him for the second time.

And I wanted to tell him that because recently, he told me I wasn't being expressive anymore. At first, I took offense but later on realized that he was right. I wasn't thinking of the relationship anymore. It's probably because I felt secure in it, which is good, but security shouldn't mean being lax. So I've been making the effort to be more expressive.

But I discovered that saying "I love you" is much easier than saying "I'm falling in love with you" or "I'm falling in love with you again." For a person like me who is not, by nature, affectionate, while the former comes naturally (and, sometimes, automatically), the latter is actually quite scary.

But I did it. I told him that I could listen to him talk about church, his job, his start-up "mini-farm," what he read in the Bible, and what he loves about Yuri forever. I told him that just listening to him laugh got me all "kilig." Is there even an accurate translation for that? I don't think so hehe.

I told him I think I just fell in love with him again. It's not in my nature to do that, but I did, because he deserves to know that after all these years, he still has that effect on me.

The funny thing is that the night before that, I asked God for clearer guidance for our relationship. God put this thought in my head: Because you asked me to take control of your life, do not worry, for your thoughts and feelings are mine.

And God placed this feeling in my heart for Job for a reason. He even magnified it last night.

Photo: walkuponwaters.tumblr.com

I didn't think it was possible to keep on falling in love with the same person. I thought love was a process. You get interested in a person, you discover his personality, you fall in love, you get to know each other more, and you get comfortable with each other so that you feel as if you've known each other forever. And that's it, a linear process, not a circular one.

But what I just felt last night was wonderful. I felt that God placed the feeling of falling in love again in my heart so that, finally and ultimately, I will stop worrying and realize that this feeling is from Him and nothing is wrong with it.

To be completely honest, though I'm crazy about Job, last night's feeling was less about him and more about God. It was like He was telling me that He wouldn't place such an immense feeling in my heart if He didn't have great plans for the relationship.

Photo: typographicverses.com

What a wonderful promise.

How about you? Have you ever felt the same with the person you love? I'd love to hear your story!

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The Things I'm Thankful For

My current circumstances find me ranting and complaining more often . I don't always do them aloud, but I see them in my planner-diary. I know they happen in my heart, and God knows what's in my heart. Somehow, they don't work for His glory. At the same time, I am getting tired of this spirit of ungratefulness and melancholy, so it needs to be quenched.

I often listed a number of my worries in my planner (and in here), so I'm doing the reverse. Despite the circumstances, I now choose to count my blessings. Praise Jesus!

What are the things I'm thankful for? A lot, actually innumerable, but yesterday was such a beautiful and smooth-sailing day that I felt compelled to write a gratitude post.

I know it's not true that if we are in the Lord, we are exempted from the world's troubles. That's not the way it works. I believe that there are days when we are tested with fire to strengthen our character and, hopefully, glorify God.

However, we are also given days that are smooth-sailing and sweet. They also test our character in a different way, but I'd like to believe they are there to give us a glimpse of what life would be with God and without the effects of sin. Yesterday, I had one of those days, and boy did it feel great!

1. I hope I am not speaking too soon, but my laptop and I were (I think) finally getting along well. And just in time because the 7-day replacement period ends today! Hehe. There's nothing wrong with it, but I was just so used to my old laptop. But I'm very grateful to God for giving me provision to replace my battery-less brownout-unfriendly laptop! 

If You're a Christian, You Need to Believe in a Physical, Literal Resurrection

Photo: http://www.happyeasterday2014.com/

Let me preface this post by saying that after I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior almost 4 years ago, that was when I truly, genuinely understood why it is important for us to never forget why a perfect and sinless Son of God had to die for our sins. Remembering this makes me feel so grateful that Jesus died on the Cross to free me from the bonds of my sins and allow me to be as close as I can to the Father.

But the point of this post is not Jesus' death.

It's how he conquered it.

I get bewildered every time I hear other Christians proclaiming something that the Bible clearly does not support. Imagine my surprise when I found out that some believers, even preachers, dismiss the validity and historicity of Jesus' resurrection.

His resurrection is not metaphorical. It is not merely symbolic. No, it's not enough to dismiss the nature of the resurrection because "what matters is that we believe in Jesus." No, it's important to truly understand that it really did happen and that Jesus physically, bodily rose from the dead.

It's not even something we can just "agree to disagree on." If you're a Christian, you have to believe in an actual resurrection. It's non-negotiable.

I have not yet read books to answer this question, but I'll gladly lead you to a blogger I look up to who wrote about the answers. The original post is here, and here are all of the important arguments:

1. Jesus repeatedly predicted his own resurrection (not just his death!). 

A skeptic might say that anyone could predict his own death if he was causing a political uproar at that point in history. But the Gospels each point out at least once that Jesus predicted he would rise after death. Jesus clearly knew it was important that he demonstrate his foreknowledge of the resurrection.

“From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.” (Matthew 16:21)

2. If Jesus predicted resurrection but did not come back to life, he would have either been wrong or an outright liar. If he predicted resurrection and did come back to life, it proves he was God (only God could do that). 

If Jesus was wrong or a liar, that would make him NOT perfect, and therefore NOT God. If Jesus was NOT God, he had no power to die on the cross for our sins, which is literally the heart of Christianity.

Christianity therefore rests on the historical truth of the resurrection.

The fact that Jesus predicted his own resurrection meant that he had to rise or else he was nothing more than a person who lived 2000 years ago and taught people to do some good things.

3. The lives of the apostles bear strong witness to the truth of the literal resurrection. 

We have now established the facts that Jesus predicted his resurrection and that he had to fulfill that prediction in order for him to have been the God he said he was. Now, how do we know he actually did rise from the dead?

Although there are many pieces of evidence for the historical resurrection (see Lee Strobel’s book, “The Case For Christ,” for a great summary), the lives of the apostles after Jesus’ resurrection bear the ultimate witness to it: almost all of the apostles died gruesome martyr deaths for spreading the Gospel of Jesus’ death and resurrection.
Every Christian should understand why this is extremely powerful evidence that the resurrection happened.

It is possible for anyone to be willing to die for a strong belief in something. But no (sane) person would be willing to die for proclaiming a lie. These apostles knew first-hand whether Jesus really was resurrected. If he wasn’t, they would have known that, and would not have been willing to die to proclaim it. If he was, they would know he was nothing less than God, and would have risked everything. This is exactly what they did.

Paul said it best in 1 Corinthians 15:14: “And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith.”(See also Acts 17:31, Acts 23:6, Romans 8:34, 1 Peter 1:3.)

In short, Jesus had to be resurrected to prove he was God; it was the ultimate proof because only God is capable of conquering death. Because he was God, and because he lived a perfect sinless life, he was uniquely able to die for our sins, ultimately reconciling us with God through our belief in him.

If you have more time to read - and I think you do since it would be holidays the following days - I also suggest you read this post about Jesus' Resurrection from GotQuestions.org. Here are the arguments highlighted in it:

The First Line of Evidence for Christ's resurrection 

To begin with, we have demonstrably sincere eyewitness testimony. Early Christian apologists cited hundreds of eyewitnesses, some of whom documented their own alleged experiences.

Many of these eyewitnesses willfully and resolutely endured prolonged torture and death rather than repudiate their testimony.

The Second Line of Evidence for Christ's resurrection

A second line of evidence concerns the conversion of certain key skeptics, most notably Paul and James.

The Third and Fourth Lines of Evidence for Christ's resurrection

A third line and fourth line of evidence concern enemy attestation to the empty tomb and the fact that faith in the resurrection took root in Jerusalem. Jesus was publicly executed and buried in Jerusalem. It would have been impossible for faith in His resurrection to take root in Jerusalem while His body was still in the tomb where the Sanhedrin could exhume it, put it on public display, and thereby expose the hoax.

The Fifth Line of Evidence for Christ's resurrection

Finally, a fifth line of evidence concerns a peculiarity of the eyewitness testimony. In all of the major resurrection narratives, women are credited as the first and primary eyewitnesses. This would be an odd invention since in both the ancient Jewish and Roman cultures women were severely disesteemed. Their testimony was regarded as insubstantial and dismissible. Given this fact, it is highly unlikely that any perpetrators of a hoax in 1st Century Judea would elect women to be their primary witnesses.

Let me end this post by borrowing a quotation from Sir Lionel Luckhoo of The Guinness Book of World Records fame for his unprecedented 245 consecutive defense murder trial acquittals:

“I have spent more than 42 years as a defense trial lawyer appearing in many parts of the world and am still in active practice. I have been fortunate to secure a number of successes in jury trials and I say unequivocally the evidence for the Resurrection of Jesus Christ is so overwhelming that it compels acceptance by proof which leaves absolutely no room for doubt.”

Have a meaningful and prayerful holy week, everyone! I used to stop celebrating it thinking that we should remember Jesus' death and victory over it every day, but hey, there must be nothing wrong with having a special time each year meant for us all to remember it.

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The First Quarter's Happy Packages

The first quarter of this year has been truly a blessed time for me. There are a lot of hard times - well, to be fair, they had not been that hard but they had been truly trying - but the amount of blessings I received simply outnumber them.

Aside from the spiritual, personal, and relational blessings I have received (and enjoyed), I also received some material blessings. I would be lying if I tell you I don't enjoy material things - and frankly, if I tell you that, I'm sure you won't believe me. Haha! Tama?

Anyway, I'm pretty thankful because I received things out of his abundance, but what I'm most thankful of is how God listened to what I personally need and gave me those things out of his generosity. This is only one of those moments when I'm grateful to have a God who knows me personally, just like a Father, just like a Friend.

Some of the packages I received were for review, such as this SmileBrilliant kit I've given away and the Tmart Kitchen Scale I reviewed yesterday. They made me pretty happy, but I'm pertaining to things I've been given virtually without nothing in return. Here they are:

I joined Ms. Kaye's book giveaway on her blog because you know how crazy I am about children's books. I was even more excited to join this particular giveaway because I've been looking for another kid's Bible for Yuri. This is not a kid's Bible, but I love how it discusses manners and attitudes from a Biblical perspective.

Lo and behold, days later, I received an email from Ms. Kaye that I won the giveaway! I was really so happy, and I was even happier when we received the book. This is such a great addition to our growing library. I can surely use this when I teach Yuri how to be like Jesus.

This reminds me: I should do a book giveaway on my blog, too!

Another giveaway I joined last month was MyMomFriday's Cycles Sensitive giveaway. I joined this giveaway because I've used Cycles when Yuri was a little baby and I was curious about this new line of products (I'm pretty sure they weren't here when Yuri was a baby).

But my primary reason was this: I was already running out of baby wash and insect repellent! My go-to insect repellent was GIGA, and I didn't have time to visit SM Lanang then, and by the time I did visit, I discovered their booth was gone! I was really counting on winning this giveaway to replenish our supplies haha.

Again, God is truly a personal God because He knows what we need. Because of that, He let me win this giveaway, too! Thank you!

My third happy package is my very own Snapware glass bottle from my dear friend, George! To be honest, I did ask for this specific bottle because I've been wanting my own glass bottle. My first choice was a mason jar, but I figured I would just be adding more kalat into my mother's already stuffed kitchen cabinets, so I needed a more portable tumbler. Thus, the Snapware bottle! I really love it and have been using it for all of my drinks: water, juices, smoothies. 

What about a Snapware giveaway? Hmm.

My final happy package I only received yesterday. It's a super belated Christmas gift (just like the Snapware hehe) from another super dear friend, Teena! Teena who lives far from Davao only gets to go home once or twice a year, so we really value the time we have together. Chos! Anyway, like the Snapware bottle, I also requested specifically for this planner and I loooove it so much!

It might have come delayed - it's almost April na - but it's worth the wait. Woot!

Thank you, also, mwre, for the chocolates! They're inside the pantry now for safekeeping. Mwahaha!

PS: I have an utang letter to you pa. I want to write it already!

So these are my happy packages. They are not exactly my definition of happiness, but what makes them "happy packages" for me is the fact that they symbolize how God continues to provide me favors despite my unfaithfulness and imperfection. This is simply because of the Grace coming from a faithful and perfect God.

Thank you!

Philippians 1:3
I thank my God
in all my remembrance of you.

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Gratitude, Happiness, and Diamonds

I felt like crap yesterday.

And to be honest, I still feel a bit like it today.

In hindsight, when I broke the bathroom's lavatory faucet early in the morning, I should have known more "un-pretty" things would happen. But that would be very superstitious of me, and that wouldn't please God, so let's just chalk it up as the first "un" event.

I wasn't able to do all of my tasks because certain issues were pulling me down.

First, I lent a friend of mine a sizable amount of money more than a month ago. I know, I just don't know how to say no. And I'm confident she'd pay me back until she was hospitalized. She tried paying me half the amount she owed, but her office-mate, whom she asked to deposit for her (since she's in the hospital) took the money away. I'm feeling so bad for her, but at the same time, well, I need the money because Yuri's birthday is coming.

Next, I had a bit of trouble transacting with the human resource personnel of my employer. Uh, no, she just made it clear that I'm not employed under them as stated in the contract. That's not the point since I knew that from the beginning. All I needed was a piece of paper signifying that I'm "working" with them for a bank loan. - INSERT LONG STORY HERE-- Anyway, she didn't need to imply that she doesn't have to procure papers for me because I'm only a "service provider" (all tutors are) because I already know that. That's why I'm very apologetic and not demanding at all. All I needed was some compassion and a clear explanation, but I didn't get them. I know it's not her intention to do so but she made me feel un-valuable to the company.

(Disclaimer: I do enjoy working for this company. This is just an isolated case and I believe it's caused by stress from both parties.)

Finance Friday: Tithing FAQs

I made a mistake.

I made a very recent (this week-ish) mistake in tithing, and this honest mistake led me to write a follow-up post about it. 

Another thing that led me to write this post about tithing were the questions I received from last week's post, and, hey, that's a great thing!

So last Friday, I talked about the reasons why we should want to tithe. Take note that I continue to highlight “want” in my statements. The message I want to relay is this: tithing should be more than a mere obligation. It should root from a deep desire to serve God. Thus, we should want to do it.

I just want to clarify that, before anything else, tithing should be done willingly and not begrudgingly. Perhaps the Filipino phrase, "bukal sa loob," describes it best.

What was that mistake I made? I want to talk about it later in my post, so if you're patient enough, please read through this entire thing first hehe. I promise I'll make it worth your time.

You see, tithing is not like ordinary saving where you take a portion of your income and take it somewhere else. It is something that you need to mull over and pray over. I am, in no means, an expert on tithing but I want to help you (and my sole reason is to bring you to God). To do that, let me share with you the questions I received about tithing.

1. Can I tithe to charity organizations and not the church?

Please, please, please, if you have deeper Biblical knowledge about this, correct me if I'm wrong! What I know is that in the Bible, tithes are meant to be the means of livelihood of the church-workers before anything else. What I understood is that even though tithes are also given to charity, they are, before anything else, meant to feed the church-workers and their families. This means the priority is not charity though it is included.

However, I understand that many are still not rooted to a church. Frankly, I am not yet rooted to a particular church (but let me clarify that this is because of circumstance and NOT by choice). My tithes don't have a regular recipient but I do give to a certain charitable institution sometimes. Now, let me clarify that this institution is run by a Christian church, which means my tithes do benefit the church-workers, too.

In a nutshell: I think that yes, you may give to charity, but to fulfill the Biblical purpose of tithing, it should be one run by a Christian church.

What if God is prompting you to give to an individual? Let's talk about that later.

2. Can tithes be less than 10% of my income?

I am not the best person to answer this because I can be legalistic. However, I want to try. If we base it on the Old Testament, I guess the answer is no. This is because in many verses about tithes, God specifies 10% and not just any portion of the income.

Leviticus 27:32
And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, even of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the Lord.

But God is a gracious God and, while He is also just, I feel He would favor Grace over legalism. If you're not used to tithing, I guess you can begin with a smaller portion of your income. Keep in mind that the keyword is "begin." You should eventually be used to tithing until you can give the Biblical 10% - and even more! Don't make stealing from God a habit!

Also, if you commit to give a certain amount to God, remember that this is a regular commitment and not a one-time thing. Again, don't make it a habit to steal from God because the only one who will reap the disadvantages is - wait for it - you!

In a nutshell: 10% is the Biblical standard, but I guess (I'm not sure!) you can begin with a smaller amount. However, you should aim to give what the Lord requires and give whatever you commit to give regularly.

3. What if there's nothing left from my salary to tithe?

A Brief Visit to UP Mindanao

It's already 10:30 (draft written earlier) and I've just started working! Gah! Electricity has been out daw since 3:00 AM kanina; we found out it affected the whole of Mindanao. Then, it went back at around 6:30. I thought everything's going to be okay na. Suddenly, at 8am, wala na namang electricity. Waaah.

Worse, none of the gadgets were fully charged. Both my phone and my laptop were only halfway charged, while the tablet was not charged at all. I really had no means to work, and I hope my boss understands.

Anyway, I was out yesterday afternoon to return to my Alma Mater, UP Mindanao, to get my diploma after ++ years. The reason is that UP is soooo far away! It's 2 hours away from where I live. I can't go to the nearby mall nga anytime I want, UP pa kaya?

The last time I've been there was during Teena and George's graduation back in 2011. So much has changed! I couldn't believe this was the same UP I entered back in 2006.

I don't have a photo of UP circa 2006, but it's really different from what I saw yesterday. For starters, the CHSS (College of Humanities and Social Sciences) building wasn't painted yet. The floor wasn't tiled and had only gray cement. Plus, there was a huge (and not working) fountain smack in the middle of the admin building. We also had several "abortion" roads which were a real challenge to ride on because they were unpaved. There was also no proper mode of transportation save for the habal-habal. 

However, the UP I saw yesterday resembled a private school. Of course, I haven't seen the other UP Campuses, but for me, what I saw already resembles a private school. The road leading to the Oblation Park not only was beautifully paved but also had flower beds. Bongga!

My good friend and former churchmate, Yankee, also accompanied me. I had been craving for some face-to-face human interaction for some time now, and while I do have this at home, I craved for interaction with someone my own age. Yankee's a bit younger than me, but she's way more spiritually mature. Yesterday, God spoke through her (and I hope God spoke through me, too), and I just feel so blessed. It was really nice catching up with her. It was also a very blessed meeting because we are both blessed by each other's stories, which, unexpectedly, were very similar pala. And we didn't know about it!

It was a good opportunity to use my Samsung WB150F camera for the first time. Hihi.

My company for the day. Thank you, Yanx!

And yours truly. (Seeing my photos makes me want to visit a salon ASAP!)

Two-fie? :P

Obligatory Oblation shots below. Thanks, Kuya (or Sir) Jonmarx for taking our photos!

Love and Respect in the Family (by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs)

I have a painful childhood memory which remains fresh in my mind. I was 6 years old and awoke to the sound of my parents fighting. I huddled in bed and waited for the house to calm down. I was crying. Minutes later, my mom went inside the room and sat on an armchair. Sniffling, I snuggled up to her. She asked, "Why are you crying?"

"Because you're fighting. And you didn't even get to tell me 'good morning.'"

My mother held me away from her. I can still remember the disgust in her eyes and the contempt in her tone when she said, "You're so selfish. You're such a bad girl. All you could think of is yourself. How very selfish."

I was 6 years old with no understanding of what I did wrong. To be honest, I still believe I didn't do anything wrong. I love my mother dearly and I'm sure she does, too, but at that moment, I've never felt more unloved.

I still think that's the reason why I have trouble expressing love and affection to my family.

I needed to understand why that little moment made such a big impact on me. It eclipses the other low moments of my life, such as the times I failed to meet my parents' expectations. They're painful, yes, but somehow, I was able to manage the temporary loss of respect on me (for a while). I mean, I was able to bounce back. However, not the same could be said for the moments I felt unloved, and I wanted to know why.

Thankfully, God answered my prayer in the form of a book.

I am very blessed to have received a copy of the book, Love and Respect in the Family, written by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, who is an internationally known expert on relationships. I say "blessed" because it opened my mind to the real reason behind the rifts within our families.

To say that this book changed my life is an understatement.

The premise of this book is this: parents and men demand respect while children and women desire to be loved. While both are not mutually exclusive, most conflicts happen when these demands are not met.

When I study the conflicts I've been in, this idea makes so much sense. It's like a light bulb suddenly turned on. Now I understand! Parents get frustrated when they feel they are not respected, while children resent their parents because they feel unloved.

On the other hand, husbands commit sin when they feel their wives don't respect them, while wives get discontented when they don't feel they are being loved. It's a vicious cycle actually. The author even calls it the crazy cycle. 

Come to think of it, everything's already written in the Bible, which makes this book not only credible but also practicable:

For children to respect their parents: Exodus 20:12

For parents to love their children: Psalms 127:3-5

For wives to respect their husbands: Ephesians 5:22-24

For husbands to love their wives: Ephesians 5:25 

The author also offers a very practical guide readers can follow in order to achieve "harmony." The acronym used is GUIDES, and here are the letters' meanings:

G - Give (Not too little and not too much)
U - Understand (Putting yourself in their shoes)
I - Instruct (Not too much but just enough)
D - Discipline (Confront, Correct, Comfort)
E - Encourage (Equipping them to succeed)
S - Supplicate (Praying with confidence!)

What I really like about this book is how it values the imperfection of human relationships. In other books, we are given "tips" on how to handle a clingy child or a secretive husband. If you're looking for tips on how to change another person, well, this might not be for you. However, if you're praying to change yourself, I say that this is a great book to start with.

You see, we always pray to see change in other people. We always pray for them to be more honest, more understanding, more patient. What about ourselves? Change begins in ourselves, and we cannot really do that unless we completely depend on the Lord. This is one of the main points of the book. Human relationships, even in the most ideal families, will never be perfect. However, we can depend on a perfect God whose love is unwavering and unchanging.

Isn't that amazing?

This is life-changing for me because I learned how to treat other people. I can prevent conflict by trying to weigh whether I sound disrespectful or not. I try to avoid being unloving. Finally, I am able to assess my feelings and know when to validate my anger and when to dismiss it.

Of course, I cannot tell you everything I read. The experience is unique because you can read about the cases the writer has handled. You don't need to be a parent to read this and benefit from it. Reading this book does not only teach me how to handle Yuri but also Job, my parents, my siblings, and yes, even the household help. If you are a father, a mother, a daughter, a son, a sister, or a brother, you will benefit from reading this book. 

This just goes to show that every kind of relationship within the family takes work, and you just cannot expect to see results without intentionally treating them with love and respect.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com® book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

_________________________________________________________________

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What I Learned from our Separation and Love Triangle

Image: kre-do.tumblr.com

Today, let's talk about love. I'm not going to talk about boring finances. Let's talk about what I learned from the 2 months separation I've had with Job and the love triangle that formed within our relationship.

I know, I know. So anti-climactic and anti-romantic, right? Well, help me pray that on the next Valentine's Day, I'll be talking about something mushy and lovey dovey. We all want that, right?

But for now, I have accepted my season of waiting and planting. I have come to appreciate it, actually. Although the sting of "separation" is there, I am able to go through this phase with the grace of God. So let's talk about the separation first.

Last December, weeks before Christmas, Job and I have come to the decision to stop communicating. That was God's command. Now, it's a long story and I don't want to delve into the details, but you can read this blog post if you're interested.

It's been 2 months, and there are still days when I don't think I can get through the day without feeling the urgent need to talk to Job. It's a good thing we schedule weekly talks where we talk like crazy (I, mostly), but waiting until Sunday is hard. Then I realized this command is actually an exercise of faith. Much like physical workouts, this phase we are now in stretches our faith muscles. We grow in faith through struggles like this.

Image: faith1stministries.com

I learned and am learning a lot of things, and, being the sharer that I am, I'm going to share them with you (along with the prayer that God blesses you, too):

1. I need to cling onto God.

Last December and January, a couple of storms passed through Mindanao. They made landfalls during the days when Job and I didn't allow ourselves to talk to each other. And given the damage Yolanda had just brought to the country, not being able to know how the other was doing was driving us crazy!

In my case, all I heard were reports about damages in some parts of Surigao. Ironically (quite funnily, too), all Job heard on his side were news about Davao. The funny thing was both of our places were spared, so we were worrying about nothing.

But of course we didn't know that. All I did was worry and later on prayed. I prayed really hard that Job and his family would be safe and dry. It wasn't until Sunday when Job made me realize that we were helplessly clinging on to God. God placed us in a situation where we really could not do anything, and our only option was to cling onto him. And guess what? That's what God loves His children to do!

2. I need to exercise patience.

Patience is a virtue I practice, but I realized I needed to practice it more. On the other hand, while Job struggles with discipline - he sometimes finds himself struggling against not messaging me outside our designated day - I don't find this a problem. However, I struggle with waiting and, more importantly, waiting with a good attitude. 2 months later and I'm still counting the days before Sunday! Not that bad but I really need to be more patient.

3. I need to make the most out of limited time.

I have written in some old posts that my most often committed sin would be my short sweet temper. Unfortunately, Job had found himself on its receiving end many times. Now, though, because we only get to talk to each other one day a week, I find myself setting my pride aside to avoid anger.

There are still times when I get annoyed or provoked by something Job said (unintentionally usually!), but knowing the limited time we have, by God's grace, I am able to put my own emotions to the backburner.
And you know what? This applies not just to our own situation but also to life in general. If we always keep in mind the truth that our time is limited, perhaps we could be spending more time loving than getting frustrated!

Image: http://everlastingjesus.tumblr.com/

4. I need to value myself.

Like most moms, I often forget myself because I put others' needs before mine. This is not the statement of a martyr. It's the statement of an ordinary mom as I know most moms are like this.

Thankfully, God made me realize that I should love myself, too. God is the source of love, and if I have a personal relationship with Him, I need to absorb as much love as I can.

Don't get me wrong; Job fulfills my need for romantic love. However, I cannot depend on another person to complete me. It's God's job, and my job is to make sure I am able to fill myself with love so that I can also fill others' tanks with it.

I'm starting with the easy tasks. Reading actual books, eating healthy foods, exercising. And I love it. Who knows? Maybe I can actually visit a salon soon! Hee hee

5. I need to be value my other relationships.

This is a realization I have had even before we reached The Decision. I'm pretty sure God is making me wait now because I've been such a cr@ppy daughter, sister, and friend during the first year of my relationship with Job.

I know Job didn't have anything to do with it, but somehow, I was under the impression that I could treat anyone the way I wanted to because I was so secure in his company. And I really did treat everyone cr@ppily! I was barely home, ignoring calls from churchmates, breaking friendships with college classmates. The works.

Now I'm slowly building up what I alone have torn down, and Job has been awfully supportive. I call this my "reconciliation year" because i'm working on reconciling broken relationships.

6. Trust is an aspect God controls.

Many ask me, especially those who don't know Job and don't know me very much, how we could last in a long-distance barely-there-communication relationship. Simple: I don't know.

All I know is that there is a faithful God that sustains us. Honestly, there never was a time when I doubted Job's fidelity, and he tells me he never did, too. Although there are some pangs of insecurity, all we do is, again, cling onto God.

You see, you could never control a person. Even if you see each other everday, if a person wants to cheat, s/he will. This is an aspect that only God can control. Because we leave this to God, we don't have trust issues.

I can say that I trust Job because I know in my heart that he fears and loves the Lord. I don't want to sound conceited, but many women have tried to, you know. But I was never bothered not because I was confident of myself. Not because I was confident of his love. But because I am confident of his love for God.

I know and he knows he's accountable to the Lord. He often tells me that nothing could keep him from cheating, but he doesn't because he doesn't want to hurt God.

Yes, folks. He says he doesn't want to hurt God, not me. I guess this is the secret? Find a man with integrity and with a genuine fear of sinning. Find a partner who loves God before you.

He can say the same for me, too. He once told me that he has full confidence in me and had never doubted me even once. I can do whatever I want with the money he sends me! But I don't. To tell you the truth, I don't even touch it. This is not because I'm good but because Jesus is good, and I want to imitate him.

Image: http://borntomakeanimpact.tumblr.com/

7. A love triangle needs to be formed - with Jesus in the center.

It used to be just Job and me - period. Like what I mentioned above, I shunned all the other people around me. Well, aside from that, I also shunned God. In reality, He should not just be included in a relationship: He should be right smack in the middle of it.

It's easy to say but difficult to follow. What does placing Jesus in the center of a relationship really mean?

It means making Jesus the first and true love of our lives.

It means taking a step only when Jesus says "yes."

It means not taking a step when Jesus says "no."

It means clinging onto faith in something that is not seen (I'm pertaining to not only God himself but also our future).

It's denying ourselves of our selfish tendencies.

It's taking up our crosses - and our partners' crosses, too.

It is building our partners up even when we're down and broken.

It's understanding our partners even if they don't understand us.

It's respecting them when they're not respectable.

It's loving them when they're least lovable.

Why? Because that's how Jesus loves us. And when He's in the center of the relationship, we are supposed to love one another with the love of Jesus Christ.

It's hard. But the good news is that when Jesus is in the center of the relationship, He sustains us. Even if the love of our partners is undependable and imperfect, we always have Jesus' perfect and unfailing love.

Our situation is hard. I'm not claiming that I have the most difficult life because I don't, but this is one of the hardest things I ever had to do. It's not easy. It's an everyday battle, a battle that requires me to have a strong and steady front even when my heart is crumbling. It's a battle I (we) silently fight.

But I know that with God's grace, everything is gonna be okay.

Image: gwynethinprogress.wordpress.com

That's it. Happy Valentine's Day. :-)

_________________________________________________________________

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