Look Sexy or Be Prudent?

Last Monday, just when I barely recovering (haha oa) from the blogger fiasco that happened last Sunday, I discovered another fiasco.

Itago na lang natin sya sa pangalang Honey.

Old readers would know who she is; for the new stumblers (hello!), Honey is Yuri's yaya.

Yes she's still here (here's the reason why). In fairness to her, other than her usual carelessness and "sabaw" moments, she hasn't done anything drastic since this experience.

Until last Sunday. Can you guess what happened?

I didn't want to write yet another yaya woe, but I'm seriously baffled with this case and I want to know your insights.

HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.

Last Thursday, she asked me if I could lend her a dress. I asked, what for? She said it's for a cocktail party activity in school, where they are taught how to serve and etiquette I guess. Since it's for school, I immediately said yes. I have no other cocktail dress so I let her borrow this:

This is our batchbook from college; I'm the third one from the left (never mind that I'm the fattest). Now, take a good look at that dress and take note of the length, too. That's short, right?

Then the day after, she also asked to borrow a pair of shoes. The annoying part was that she had already chosen for herself the shoes she wanted before she asked me. But that's not the issue.

On Monday morning, I found out that she arrived home the night before (Sunday) at already 12 midnight. She's usually expected to arrive at before 9pm. What was the reason?

She skipped school and didn't attend her afternoon classes because she wanted to go home to her province in Davao del Norte. Nope she didn't tell us. We only found out when she got home.

Just a few months after we almost sent her away because she went home without asking for our permission and she did it again! Not to mention that she cut classes; nag-aaral kaya talaga to?

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.

She arrived at our house at 12 midnight still wearing my short cocktail dress.

I'm not ultra-conservative; after all, that was my dress. And it's not "bastusin" or anything, right? Still, can you imagine wearing it when you're alone out in the streets at midnight?

Honey can. More than the fact that she told me she'd only wear the dress at school and didn't keep her word, what bothered me the most was the thought of an 18-year old girl riding a bus (non-aircon) alone at 10 or 11 pm from a rural town in Davao del Norte to Davao City (3-hour ride I think) wearing a short, skimpy dress.

All I could say is "what was she thinking?!"

Apart from the long bus ride, she also had to walk from the bus terminal to the not-so-nearby motorcycle terminal to ride a motorcycle because there were no more jeepneys going to our area at 12 midnight. Buti na lang wala syang nakasalubong na lasing and buti na lang matino ang driver ng motorcycle.

But what if there really was a drunk man in the road and what if she chanced upon another kind of driver? Would wearing the dress because it's pretty and sexy still be worth it?

I agree that women should not be blamed for being harassed because of what they wore. I, myself, like dressing up. But at what cost? I mean, in my case, I will only wear a short dress if I'm not alone and if I'm going out on broad daylight. Otherwise, it's polo shirt and jeans for me. Conservative? Maybe. Prudent? A million yes's.

PRUDENCE

Prudence is not prudery. Prudence is common sense. Prudence is when you make you're assignment before the deadline because if not, you may fail. Prudence is checking the grocery list one more time to avoid forgetting an important item. Prudence is looking at both sides of the road before you cross.

Is it prudent to choose to wear something that would minimize the risk of being harassed? Yes. Please tell me why it shouldn't be.

Wearing a short dress in the middle of the night when you're out on the streets is not prudence. It's recklessness. Many might not agree with me, but we certainly need to know how to properly dress to protect ourselves or, at the very least, avoid being targeted. I'm not naive to not know that women are still harassed despite wearing long clothes, but if you already know the risk, why should you have to choose to dress provocatively? That's just plain recklessness.

Why flirt with danger just to look sexy?

I'm the case of Honey, I'm seriously wondering whether she understood our point at all. She kept saying that she wore shorts underneath naman daw; yeah right, all she has are short shorts that are not a lot longer than boyleg panties. In other words, the dress must have been longer than the shorts. Didn't she feel afraid of the peering eyes and malicious whistles? I seriously don't know.

All I know is that I won't ever allow my sister or future daughter to do that. I will teach my son to respect and protect women, but the reality is that there are many other men out there with bad intentions. There's not even a thin line between looking sexy and being prudent; there's a high, thick fence between them. All you need to do is choose. Is looking sexy worth the risk?