Why I'm Still Breastfeeding My (Almost) 23-month old

It's funny how breastfeeding a toddler in public gets more weird stares than letting a toddler drink Coke in public.

I seriously regret not having a proper camera during this time.

This is Yuri. 23 Months old (almost), weighing a little more than 10 kilos, 86 cm long, very active, a quick learner, word-smart, affectionate, and still an avid nurser.

Breast is best, they say. I'm blessed to have a rather smooth breastfeeding journey with Yuri. Aside from the teeth-gritting pain during the first weeks and, maybe, the stress with pumping whenever I leave Yuri for a while, I never had major breastfeeding troubles. The beauty with breastfeeding is that it quickly becomes second nature, which helps a mom realize that yes, God created these boobs to nourish another (super adorable) human being.

Breastfeeding in public will always be awkward (for me) mostly because of the lifting-of-the-dress involved. Once the baby's latched, though, it becomes easy. Now, it wasn't so hard to breastfeed a newborn baby. More people are becoming aware of its benefits, so nursing a small baby often gets a "thumbs-up" from the public.

Nursing a child almost half as tall as you is different. The inspired looks turn into weird stares. The genuine questions become accusing. Suddenly, the accepting society becomes backward again.

Yuri very rarely nurses in public now, save for times of physical pain, distress, and, well, sometimes when he poops (I don't know!). Since he started walking, maybe he has only nursed in public around 7-8 times. Still, that doesn't save me from some rather funny questions.

Big boy ka na, Yuri, bakit dede ka pa rin? (Yuri is still a baby!)

Medyo payat si Yuri no. Try mo kayang mag-supplement ng formula? (FYI, 10 kilos is not underweight. In fact, it's within the normal range for his weight. It's just that other children are so chubby in comparison.)

Hindi ba sya kulang sa sustansya? (As far as I'm concerned, my milk is more nutritious than what you buy from the grocery. God designed it and personalized it for my son. He might be on the slim side but he's really sturdy.)

Stop mo na kayang magbreastfeed para kumain ng madami si Yuri. (I bet my bottom dollar that non-breastfeeding toddlers are as picky! And FYI, maganang kumain si Yuri. Picky lang and short ang attention span - just like other toddlers!)

On the other hand, I see very young toddlers (a little over a year old) being given Coke by their mothers and nobody questions their decisions. What's wrong with the world, momma?

Yuri will be 23 months old this Wednesday. Yikes! Originally, I planned to breastfeed Yuri only for the first year. However, I learned that WHO recommends breastfeeding for a minimum of 2 years. Wow! So we continued. Actually, that's the easiest thing to do because Yuri was (and is) so in love with breastfeeding.

My next "deadline" was 2 years, but Yuri exhibits no sign whatsoever of weaning. He stills enjoys it very much and is his go-to when he needs to be comforted. And that's okay with ne because I, too, have reasons:

1. It is normal and not as uncommon as we may think.

2 years seems too old an age to be breastfeeding, but in many countries around the world, the norm is 4-5 years old. This means that based on the global population, weaning before 2 is actually weird!

2. Breastfeeding beyond infancy offers immunity both to mother and child.

I can attest to this because the only time Yuri has ever set foot in the hospital was when he was born. Praise God!

It still keeps my risks of developing breast, ovary, and uterine cancer low. At the same time, it still keeps my child's risks of getting obese, diabetic, and hypertensive low.

3. And, yes, breastfeeding beyond infancy still burns calories.

While it doesn't anymore burn 500+ calories when Yuri was still an infant, it still burns more or less 300. Not bad!

(I do find it unfair, though, that easy-breezy breastfeeding burns more than twice the calories that a 20-minute run burns!)

4. Breastfeeding is, hands-down, still the best soother and the best lullaby.

I kid you not, it is the best remedy for virtually everything. Every nick, every bump, every anxiety, the breast does the trick. My first-aid kit is right here with me (and it's very portable). I also don't have to exert much effort in trying to get Yuri fall asleep. I just nurse him and a few minutes later, he's knocked out. No sweat! So tell me, why would I even think of stopping?

The only thing it would not heal would be heartbreak, but by the time that happens, Yuri will have already stopped nursing for a looong time.

5. It is not just food. It meets the child's need for security.

Breastfeeding is not only about nourishment. More often, it's about comfort and attachment. Many parents add a negative connotation to "attachment." They think it's the opposite of "independence," which is not really the case. So they don't understand why some kids feel the need to nurse when they feel bad because they say they're making a "human pacifier" of their moms. In my humble opinion, I'd very much prefer my child to look for comfort from me rather than from a silicone nipple or a security blanket. Thank you very much.

6. Breastfeeding toddlers make the funniest anecdotes.

Last week, a mom from the Breastfeeding Pinays Facebook group wrote about her daughter (a toddler) saying the cutest lines before nursing. Of course I chimed in and talked about Yuri "praying" before nursing! Sometimes he "knocks" on my shirt before feeding, and oftentimes, when I dress him up, he sneaks a little nursing while he's standing on the bed! In the middle of a nursing session, he would sometimes pause to smell ~~the flowers~~ his dede and say "bango dede." With matching toothy smile. Infants are absolutely adorable, but toddlers have tons of personality!

7. The connection between mother and toddler made during breastfeeding is truly special.

Breastfeeding a toddler is pure joy. This is something I hope all moms get to experience. There's something different between nursing a helpless baby and nursing a toddler who knows he's being nourished and comforted by his mother. He knows it, and you can see it in his eyes when they look directly into yours. You understand that he knows he has you: when his knees hurt from his stumble, when he gets frightened by thunder, when he gets too tired for words, when he's hungry, when he's terrified of a stranger, when he has the sniffles, when he's terribly sick, he understands that he has you. Maybe not through adult language but through this God-designed wonder called breastfeeding.

And sometimes it's not just his eyes that communicate this understanding. Toddlers are known to break into a smile and a laughter in between breastfeeding, and one can only imagine the overflowing bliss being attached to his mother can create.

"Anyone without prejudices, who has ever observed an older baby or toddler breastfeeding can testify that there is something special, something far beyond food, going on. A toddler will sometimes spontaneously, for no obvious reason, break into laughter while he is breastfeeding. His delight in the breast goes far beyond a source of food" (Newman).

PS: They say a child is too old to breastfeed when he can ask for it. I disagree. The next time you ask me why I'm still breastfeeding my toddler, I'll probably let Yuri answer for me.

PPS: This post is not meant to offend formula-feeding moms. Nothing bad about formula has been mentioned here, if you noticed. On the contrary, my purpose is to defend moms who breastfeed beyond infancy, encourage those who are planning to do it, and discourage those who are planning on weaning early. Toodles.