I regret writing all those negative posts about my yaya. Don't get me wrong; they are all true. And it did feel good to finally let the rants out from my system. But afterward, it's still me who has to deal with the negativity, and it's me who indelibly marked my blog with complaints that are better left in my private life.
And most of all, I failed to keep this blog positive (little pieces of happy? seriously, Maan?) and more importantly, God-glorifying.
I tried to uplift the situation by reminding myself that despite her many flaws and offenses, I am extremely blessed to have her as she does truly love my son like her own brother. To be honest, I don't know what I would have done without her. It occurred to me that I might not find another yaya who loves Yuri as much as she does.
But I guess it was too late; negativity has already prevailed.
I shared this with Job the other night. Actually, I kept the details a secret because he knows Honey's offenses, and if he knows I'm referring to her, he would surely take my side. As seeker of his advice, I wanted - needed - him to be neutral.
I told him about it as vaguely as possible. I mentioned that lately, I was being mean and it's disconcerting (for me) how easy it's becoming for me to speak ill of another person.
He wisely chose to not give me a sermon (he never does, actually). Instead, he told me this (translated to English from Filipino):
The truth is that we are given only two choices in life: the good and the bad. As Christians, we should always strive to do what's right in God's eyes, even if most of the time, it's the harder choice.
His words were very simple, but they hit my core. Yes, Job is right. I can only choose to either do good or do bad, and for God, I should strive to always choose good. Do good, speak good, even see good.
Then he gave me a Bible verse. I initially thought it would have to be a sermon or a warning. But I was wrong as Job's verse for me was no other than God's Promise of Restoration:
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I know that context-wise, it was a promise meant for Israel, but heart-wise, I know God also has me in mind during that time. There was truly no verse more perfect than this one that God told Job to give me!
I felt so blessed with the promise that despite my many flaws and offenses (sound familiar?), I will be forgiven as I am loved.
Which reminds me to always choose forgiveness and love, too. Let's choose to do good.
PS: If I happen to have single readers out there, I pray that you find a Christian man who has a personal relationship with the Lord and is strong enough in faith to guide you spiritually. Amen?
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