The words pierced my consciousness while I was in my momentum, working, yesterday afternoon. I know Yuri and his yaya were out on our yard with some kids from the neighborhood. Just like any other day. The only difference was that the peaceful playing and laughter was interrupted by a persistent --
"Tanga ka! Tanga ka! Tanga ka kasi"
The words were yelled by a 7-year old boy to a 4-year old girl, whom he previously hit. The girl cried when he hit her accidentally, and the boy, for some reason, thought the girl was just being stupid. And the words weren't yelled in a childish manner. The words sounded angry.
I waited for them (actually, for Yuri's yaya, since she was the grownup) to settle it, but the yelling still continued so I went outside.
Careful not to sound too angry, I chastised the boy. No I didn't ask him to apologize. I believe I'm not the one who should do that. What I wanted was for him to stop bullying the girl.
And then I saw my sweet 2-year old Yuri in between them, seemingly unaware of the fight he's in the middle of. But I know he's an impressionable child. All toddlers are. I prayed that he wouldn't copy the behavior he saw that afternoon.
Not during the fight
I've seen bad influence work in many lives including mine. But I wasn't prepared to see it happen so early in my toddler's life. More than that, I was really shocked to hear such hurtful words from such a young boy.
Is it true then? That today's society is raising meaner kids?
I'm not naive. I've been bullied many times in my life so I know how cruel kids can be. I just wasn't expecting for cruelty to come from a usually friendly little boy and without reason.
I actually love most of the kids who come over. Sometimes, toddlers Yuri's age visit, so the playdate is just made up of cute and adorable.
Yuri and Pauline
There are also some young girls who are really very very nice. So nice I think I should ask their parents for tips! For example, there's one girl, Yza, who brought with her a purple skipping rope one afternoon. Every girl loved it, so she made two trips back to her house to bring more purple ropes. But the youngest girl wanted Yza's own rope. She gladly gave it to her and happily used my own skipping rope that I lent her. Not as pretty as her ropes but she's still so nice and happy about it!
She even told me that my old brown skipping rope was "amazing!"
But then, there are also some kids who, well, are not as nice. In fact, the two kids who fought above? Yuri's yaya gets stressed when they are around because they almost always upset my play-by-the-rules kid Yuri.
Yuri has also gotten some "not so nice" traits from them. You see, we raised Yuri to not be so attached to his personal possessions (no, the boob is an exception). But one day, the 4-year old girl refused to give him back his toy, saying, "Akin to!" My impressionable toddler adapted the behavior.
And that's the reason I was so worried about him hearing the "Tanga ka" remarks.
As someone who only knows their parents' names, my business is not to judge. I don't want to think of reasons why the kids have these kinds of attitude at such a young age. But as the parent of my own son, I am concerned about his welfare. It's the one area here that is my business and my responsibility.
Yet it's difficult. I've been told to just not let those specific kids to come over, but I don't have the heart to refuse a child. But I certainly don't want Yuri copying their behavior either! I can reprimand them but I certainly couldn't discipline them. I firmly believe parents alone should do the disciplining.
So what do you think should I do? Because this is what the Bible says I should do:
Image from eBay
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