The Art of Slowing Down

Let me tell you a secret. I don't know how to slow down. I'm always on my toes, maybe not physically all the time, but my mind is always, always running. The hamster never stops turning the wheel called my brain. And because I am easily obsessed, sometimes, this nonstop wheel becomes a tool for unhealthy obsession.

In a full day, aside from my mommy duties, I work. I spend 30 minutes reviewing one essay, and after each essay, I allow myself 5 minutes to "rest." Well, guess what? During those 5 minutes, I do blogwork!

I do the same each lunch break. Sometimes, I catch a good TV show, so while Yuri begins his nap, I watch TV. However, my mind is still running, eternally on search of good topics to write about. The same happens at night. After reading bedtime books to Yuri and finally tucking him to sleep, after reading the Bible and praying, I read more articles and posts and I draft future blog posts.

In all reality, it keeps me productive. In fact, this is the reason why, for the past several weeks, I've been blogging every day. It was literal blog-horrea! Because of the time I spent on thinking of new topics and taking stock photos, I was able to produce post after post after post.

So what's the problem? I realize I've become so attached to the idea of a new post every day. It's silly, but I didn't want "vacant days" in my blog. I don't know why and how, but somehow, I let my love of blogging become an "idol," something that I obsessed over and practically worshipped, and God convicted me to stop that right away.

I realize that by obsessing over writing posts, I've set myself up to being a slave of the blog. (Remember that I am writing from a Biblical perspective, so if you have a different belief, you might not really understand why I'm so bothered when I realized that I'm beginning to "worship" blogging.)

Okay, if the idolizing aspect is too heavy, let's change gears. This blog is supposed to be just an outlet, not a daily mail of some sort! It is nice to write daily but not when it already takes time away from personal meditation, leisure, and bonding time.

I realize that if I pressure myself to write every day, I lose in the end. I lose the valuable time I should have spent in prayer. I lose the valuable time I should have spent playing with my son. Heck, I lose the valuable time I should have spent exercising!

More importantly, the constant thoughts about blogging fill my mind throughout the day take up what should have been my meaningful conversations with God.

Now is time to slow my pace down. This blog is supposed to be home, not an obligation. Yes, I will still be writing about God, books, homeschooling, eating, shopping, and all the things that spark my fancy, but this time, I'll be an inspired writer, not a post-churner.

The truth is I am still a busy person. I still haven't gained control of my schedule. I never had "me-time" yet, but at least, I'm not worrying about what to write for the day. And the difference is that I get to really think about what I need to write not for the sake of writing but for the sake of being read years after. I get to think of writing something my family would appreciate reading in the years to come. I am able to cut any addiction/obsession/worshipping feelings I had about blogging and, instead, use it as a tool that really glorifies God.

Photo: http://keithburnettministries.com/

PS: What I just wrote about applies to me and may not necessarily apply to you. If you could easily write often without the dangers of obsession, by all means, go for it.