Gratitude, Happiness, and Diamonds

I felt like crap yesterday.

And to be honest, I still feel a bit like it today.

In hindsight, when I broke the bathroom's lavatory faucet early in the morning, I should have known more "un-pretty" things would happen. But that would be very superstitious of me, and that wouldn't please God, so let's just chalk it up as the first "un" event.

I wasn't able to do all of my tasks because certain issues were pulling me down.

First, I lent a friend of mine a sizable amount of money more than a month ago. I know, I just don't know how to say no. And I'm confident she'd pay me back until she was hospitalized. She tried paying me half the amount she owed, but her office-mate, whom she asked to deposit for her (since she's in the hospital) took the money away. I'm feeling so bad for her, but at the same time, well, I need the money because Yuri's birthday is coming.

Next, I had a bit of trouble transacting with the human resource personnel of my employer. Uh, no, she just made it clear that I'm not employed under them as stated in the contract. That's not the point since I knew that from the beginning. All I needed was a piece of paper signifying that I'm "working" with them for a bank loan. - INSERT LONG STORY HERE-- Anyway, she didn't need to imply that she doesn't have to procure papers for me because I'm only a "service provider" (all tutors are) because I already know that. That's why I'm very apologetic and not demanding at all. All I needed was some compassion and a clear explanation, but I didn't get them. I know it's not her intention to do so but she made me feel un-valuable to the company.

(Disclaimer: I do enjoy working for this company. This is just an isolated case and I believe it's caused by stress from both parties.)

On Gratitude and Long-Distance Relationships

I'm a firm believer in gratitude. I'm a firm believer in giving thanks. I don't scrimp on thanking people. You can just give me P10 for my jeepney fare and I will be forever thankful.

Photo: kellymaxfit.wordpress.com

Last night, though, I found it hard to have an attitude of gratitude. As a little backgrounder, Job and I talk every night about work, what happened that day, mundane stuff, future plans. You know, the usual kamustahan. However, due to busyness (his mostly), we weren't able to talk much for the past few days. Then, last night, just as we were finally able to talk again, he slept. He was too tired from work, and he slept.

It wouldn't have been a big deal for some, but for me, it is. You see, when you are in a long-distance relationship, talking is very important. I couldn't emphasize its importance more. Because, hello, you don't see each other na nga, you don't talk pa. For someone like me, nakakaloka yun.

So I did not talk to him. Before I slept, I wanted to pray, but somehow, I knew my heart wasn't in the right place. I couldn't genuinely be grateful. Then, I remembered this quote:

Photo: www.etsy.com

That jolted me because despite his flaws (nobody is perfect), I don't want to lose Job. I am thankful for having him and Yuri in my life, and I know I should always be thankful for having them.

Well, that's when I remembered that despite the frequency of our spats (mostly because of my hormones), they remain to be petty and nothing serious. I need to thank God for that and for the fact that he never lost his cool on me. Also, I need to thank God that Job was busy because of work and not because of something else (you know). I even need to be thankful that we both have work in the first place.

Frankly, I'm still not talking to him. Not because I don't "forgive" him for sleeping on me but because, well, I need more lambing pa. Hehehe. I've always played hard-to-get even when we started dating. And now I know that I should be thankful for a lot of things about him and this relationship.

What are you thankful for today?

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