What is a good mom?

Yuri's "gift" to me. A "basket" daw with "bananas."

Hallmark doesn't make any money from me because I don't celebrate holidays except for Christmas, Easter, and birthdays. I looove these major holidays, but I see the "rest of 'em" as just ordinary days.

I don't even celebrate Valentine's Day, much less Mother's Day.

I guess that's just how we were raised. My family is not big on celebrating birthdays na nga, Mother's Day pa? The same can be said for Job, although he tries to send me simple "special" messages on those occasions (but I love the just-because messages more...)

But there's one person who never fails to send me heartfelt greetings on Mother's Day. That's Honey, Yuri's ate or yaya.

Although I'd never admit it to her face (sorry, I was never the expressive type), I feel blessed that God sent her to us to help me take care of Yuri. That's even though she makes me want to scream sometimes, okay, many times. I mean, ako yung may event pero 10 minutes nalang ako nakapaghanda kasi she took 40 minutes to get dressed? Mga ganun.

But that's off-topic hehe. Really, I feel blessed because in spite of her kaartehans and, sometimes, disobedience, I believe in my heart that she truly loves Yuri. I think that's the most important trait you would ever need to find in a yaya.

Going back to Mother's Day, that early morning, while Yuri was still sleeping and I was laughing over a joke Job cracked, I received this text message:

Of course I was touched. Who wouldn't? I don't think all household have helpers who are as thoughtful as Honey. But never being the emotional type, I immediately thought, "Oh no, she thinks so highly of me. Whatever have I done to deserve that?"

First of all, I'm far from the alpha-perfect mom image. I let my child eat sweets and processed foods. I don't really care when he touches something dirty. Sometimes I give him what he wants when he throws tantrums. There have been times when I want Yuri to go away because I'm busy or stressed at work - though I will never have the heart to tell him that.

I am not "the best mom ever." I let Yuri watch TV and play with gadgets so that I can rest after working. I sometimes tell him to pee in his diaper because I'm too sleepy or lazy to get up and accompany him to the potty. Sometimes I let him bite on a toy that I know is dirty. One time, I even let him eat a lollipop.

Happy Mama's Day!

This infographic is dedicated to my mother, my grandmothers, my boyfriend's mother, my mommy friends (George, Lenin, Ate Tonet, Ate Lorilie of Charles Goodies, Ate Vanz - also my spiritual mother, and more), mommy blogger friends (you are too many to mention!), mommy blogger idols (in the most non-worshipful manner), and to all mommy readers.

And to me, of course. #pagbigyan

If you ask me, all I want for Mother's Day is a full day with my loved ones - and a slice of cake. Thank you so much! :D

Happy Mother's Day!

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The WAHM Lifestyle: Realities, Duties, and Fulfillment

“I’m participating in the WAHMEO Revolution Blog Carnival 2013, hosted by WAHMderfullife.com, MommyGinger.com and VA Support Pro! We’ll be sharing our thoughts and experiences on being a WAHMEO. We will also be sharing our reasons why we want to be WAHMEOs. Please scroll down to the end of the post to see the list of link-up entries.”

It was last week when I found myself walking along a familiar (but-not-so-familiar) road toward the office. This was the same office I worked for a long time until the very last week of my pregnancy. That was more than a year ago - a full 15 months ago. Bilis ng panahon!

Back then, I resigned mainly because I knew my potential to earn more.However, I didn't expect working from home to become my way of life. Actually, I was scared because I knew how volatile work-from-home opportunities are. Jobs are known to come and go. But I took a brave albeit blind step into the world of being a WAHM: a work-at-home mom.

Luckily, I was already working from home on a part-time basis before I even got pregnant. This means I was already connected to a Philippine-based company where the work was, safe-to-say, stable.

However, the first months were hard. I had to take care of the baby on my own because my boyfriend was based in another city. Those times, the newborn would cry incessantly while I struggle to make him fall asleep. Once he finally falls asleep, I would sneakily get out my laptop and try to get things done. Of course, I didn't get much done. The newborn would wake up almost every hour to breastfeed.

I virtually had no sleep in those first three months.

Looking back, I wonder how I even lived through those months.No offense, baby, but those months were parusa! :D

But fear not, future WAHMs. I believe those months are just the birthing pains that I believe we must all experience. At ano lang naman ang birthing pains, diba? Piece of cake! Hahaha! But seriously, believe me when I say this: everything gets better. After a few months, I finally got a trustworthy yaya, and I could finally work in peace. Of course, I always work where I can see them with my eagle-mommy-eyes.

However, this is not where my duty ends. Aside from working, I also am in-charge of these things:

1. Waking the baby up - Yes, this is a task, because since we're co-sleeping and since the baby is a light sleeper, I cannot leave the bed unless it's an emergency. This means holding off my pee (and sometimes, number 2!) until he wakes up.

2. Feeding the baby - This is my task alone. Aside from breastfeeding the baby, it is also me who feeds him breakfast, lunch, dinner and merienda in between. The yaya cannot and must not feed the baby. Also, it is only me who is in charge of cleaning the baby's feeding utensils. No one else can touch my baby's food and utensils! (Well, except for my own mother.)

Sometimes, we eat right in front of the TV. Coincidentally, that's Pokwang in the film,A Mother's Story,in the background.

3. Giving the baby a bath - Ah, this is one of the highlights of our day. The baby kicks like there's no tomorrow! He stands in the bathtub and splashes everyone with water! He plays with the bubbles and tries to eat them! Ay, there's no dull moment in our bath time talaga. :D

4. Sponge bath at night - This is one of the rituals we have established early. Did you know that when you want to help a baby sleep through the night, establishing a nightly ritual is recommended? What I do is after dinner, we play a bit. Then, I give him a sponge bath. When he gets sleepy, I carry him upstairs, lets him play until he gets tired or we read a story, then we breastfeed, then he sleeps.

5. Shopping for the baby- This is the most fun task for WAHM-CEOs like us, right? For me, it is! It does not only mean shopping for clothes and other baby stuff. I think I got past that stage already. What I mean is shopping for the right food, milk, diapers, etc. In other words, my love for grocery shopping just got worsewhen I became a WAHM!

6. Establishing our schedule - I once mentioned in this blog that I am very addicted to listing things even before. This intensified when I had my baby! I'm obsessed in creating my baby's schedule. Everything is listed on paper, which works well for all of us.

There's so much more that I didn't include in the list, such as overseeing the yaya, paying her every month, listing the expenses, setting our monthly budget, pestering the boyfriend regarding investments. Well, the last part is not correct; I don't actually pester him, just educate. Hahaha!

Yes, moms, being a WAHM means a lot of work. Like what I enumerated above, there's virtually no rest until the baby is finally asleep at night. Is the WAHM lifestyle tiring? You bet it is! Is it overwhelming? At first, it is! Is it boring? Sometimes!

But is it fulfilling? I promise you, it is. I get the best of both worlds. I am earning good money while hearing my baby's laughter. I grow in my career while being able to nourish my child with breast milk and homemade food. I am working, but I am present in my baby's life.I know the baby likes toys with wheels. I know how much he likes bread and biscuits. I know how much sleep he gets. I know him.

I would never trade another life for the one I have right now.

So let's go back to that road to the office. No, I wasn't going back to that office to work. I was just about to see my fellow mommy-friend, George. I had to deliver a dress to her (online selling is also my sideline, by the way). Of course, I also had to drop by a nearby baking supplies store for a bar of chocolate (to keep me sane).

Sometimes, I think of going back to the office and getting back into the rat-race. But I think of how blessed I am to be able to work and be with my baby at the same time. Not all women get to have the same opportunity to be a WAHM.

I get to have harutan moments with my baby early in the morning because I am not in a hurry to get to the office or anywhere else. :-)

I'm not saying working in the office is bad. It is not. It is also not the lesser option. It is not. Duh, even my own mother works from the office! All I'm saying is that working from home is a relatively new concept but you should not be afraid to try it out.

The WAHM lifestyle works for me. It is the best option for me. Who knows? It might be your best decision, too.



Please visit the entries of the other participants of the WAHM-eoBlog Carnival:

Vanessa Chua - SHED: Thoughts of An Aspiring WHAMeo
Dianne Salas Kaw - this mom's life: The Most Important CEO of All
Dorry Lyn Tan - Working MAMA: On Wanting to Be aWAHMEO
Mich Nicolas - City Girl, Country Home: Precious Gems for You Work-at-Home Mommas

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It's not a competition.

Last Wednesday, we went back to the Barangay Center for our MMR shot. I'm glad to announce that that was finally our last center appointment! Graduate na talaga kami, at long last!!!

Now, don't get me wrong. I like having the option to avail of free medicine and immunizations in the barangay. I think I have already saved around 30k just by going to the barangay center.

However, there are a couple of things I dread whenever the date of our appointment nears. First, even though the appointment is free, it is too taxing time-wise and effort-wise. Imagine, you have to be there before the center opens at 8. And when you arrive at around 7:30, don't expect to be the first in line. In fact, last Thursday, we arrived at 7:30 and we were 23rd in line. Also, it is not (never was) a comfortable wait. The center is cramped, hot, and full of wailing babies - Y included. LoL.

The second and worse thing I hate about going to the center is having to socialize with a lot of other mothers. I'm not antisocial, but there's something about sitting with a smorgasbord of women with their babies. This is because I notice that the conversation will always, always steer toward how well and how advanced their babies are performing. And sometimes, it boils down to pure boasting.

I would hear a mom taunting another because the other's baby is not sitting yet. Her baby, she claims, began sitting when he was still a few months old, a lot earlier than the other baby. The others can clearly tell whose mothering style is better. Guess who feels bad?

Another mom would proclaim that her 8-month old is already walking, making the others stare at her at awe. How did she do it? What kind of mothering did she do? She now reigns supreme in the field of mothering. The mommy queen-bee.

My 13-month old still uses the walker. Does this make Y a poor baby? Of course not!
He's wearing his aunt's headband, by the way. Hahaha!

Now, because the center is cramped, mothers would generally see each others' babies weight and height. We're stuck at the 9 kilogram mark, while other 1-year olds would have already achieved 10 kilograms. I saw a mom with a bigger 1 year old look at my card, but I just smiled at her.

I chose not to get affected. Why would I? Y is very healthy. He eats a lot, breastfeeds a lot, plays a lot, and sleeps a lot. He laughs at my jokes and I'm his favorite person. What more could I ask for?

Here's my question: Are babies trophies? Are babies sort of benchmarks we need to work on to prove to others how well of a mother we are? Are our babies' milestones something to compete over?

I'm a mother, too, and I know how it feels when your child has achieved another milestone. But I don't think we need to flaunt our babies' achievements in order to feel superior over the next mom. We have no right to do this because in the first place, babies are different. They develop at different paces.

Your babies' achievements are something to be proud of, yes, but they are not something worth gloating about. If your child develops early, smile, be thankful, and pray to God.

On the other hand, we might see ourselves on the other side of the competition. We might admire (or envy) someone whose baby seems so easy to pacify. Or we might envy someone whose baby has already started walking or talking early. But you know what? There's no need to keep stressing over the fact that your friend's baby is developing faster. Your baby is unique and special as he is.

Just be happy and keep loving. Isn't this the way it is supposed to be?

One of the possible reasons why he isn't fat: we're still breastfeeding. :-)

We're all mothers (well, not all, but you know what I mean). We're supposed to understand what each other is going through. We're supposed to be there for each other, not against each other. For a change, why don't we stop boasting about our own babies' achievements? Why don't we focus on the fun part? The playing part? You know, the loving part? 

Let's forget about the competition (if there ever was one). I'm sure we would all be happier mommies when we choose to talk happy. And did you know that happier mothers equal happier babies?

Happy Mother's Day!

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