What a Busy Week!

I can't believe it's already Friday.

On one hand, I am relieved that it's already Friday. On the other hand, I realise that I still have a lot to do over the weekend. For starters, I need to report to work tomorrow to cover up for my absence last Wednesday. Thank goodness I work from home and don't have to go out!

This week has been very busy for me. It was a mix of good busy and bad busy. Let me tell you about it.

Busy for Work

I have been given new responsibilities at work, which is a really great thing because it shows they trust me enough. I've also been made in charge of the Filipino content team. In fact, another Filipino has been added to the team this week. I interviewed her on Monday and she got hired immediately!

Busy for License Registration

But as busy as I am for work, I had to work the afternoon shift on Tuesday and be absent on Wednesday because I was taking care of my license registration. The hurdles - not to mention the steep fees! - really don't end with the board exam. But it's alright. We have no choice because we have to get our license!

What made the process fun and bearable was the fact that I came with a friend, Ate Elaine, who was also my classmate, and I also met my old friend, Sonny, who is also my brod from the counterpart fraternity. We're all brokers now, yay! I told them we should form a corporation or something. It's really all for my benefit because Ate Elaine is a CPA while Sonny will take the bar exams this November. Bwahahaha!

By the way, I'm finally a licensed real estate broker. I don't have the physical license yet, but I have a license number!

Busy because Yuri was sick

I've also been busy because of "bad" reasons. For one, Yuri came down with a fever last Wednesday, which did not subside until this morning. He's barely sick, but when he's sick, he's really weak and doesn't move much. He needed some rest and nourishment.

Today, Friday, he's feeling much better, although we keep going to the bathroom because he's having a mild diarrhoea. He says his tummy doesn't hurt though. I think it's because his food intake for the past days is mostly liquid. I won't worry until he says his stomach hurts.

And busy because my laptop is sick

And my trusty laptop is not doing well this week, too. Talk about bad timing! I don't know what happened to it. It was doing well on Tuesday night, but when I came home Wednesday evening, it was suddenly not turning on. It functions but veeeery slowly. In fact, yesterday morning, it took an hour and a half for it to start!

So I PC-refreshed it. The computer promised that the process won't harm the files, but after around an hour of refreshing, when it came back on, all of my blog photos were gone. I wasn't worried much because I could download them from the blog, but I hope it fixes the problem. It's still going a little slow now, but I'll monitor it.

EDIT: The photos are gone from my drive, but when I re-installed Picasa, all my photos are there!!! Every single one. Good guy Picasa is good!

How was your week?

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Are You a Nagger? (Review of "Motivate Your Child" by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller)

Sometimes, I have no choice but to subscribe to the nagging and bribing academy of parenting.

When my toddler was still a baby, I swore I will never nag or bribe because I know these will never result to anything good. But now, out of desperation, I find myself either nagging to death or bribing my son with a toy or a treat to make him follow me.

The book, "Motivate Your Child" by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN BSN, is what I need.

Image from Amazon

The book basically focuses on how many parents today are using external methods of motivating their children. Yes, these include nagging and bribing, and these are very misdirected. These result to short-term effects where the child obeys just to either avoid punishment or get the reward.

Nagging is tiresome. On the other hand, if your child was exposed to a reward system that is basically bribing, you have no choice but to "outdo" the last reward. I actually see this in my sister today who, before obeying, will ask, "What is in it for me?"

The book then ultimately says that the best way to motivate a child is to motivate them internally. The writers call this form of parenting "heart parenting." What does it mean?

This approach entails removing the external reward-consequence system and looking into the root of the matter: the heart.

How to Encourage your Toddler to Talk

Let me preface this post by saying I'm no expert-mom. I'm just a regular mom who happen to be a sharer (an oversharer?) of stories especially those fellow moms will find useful.

In my own words, I'm more of an aha-mom than an alpha-mom.

I consider myself blessed to have a kid who began talking early. 16 months may not be as early as other kids, but Yuri's verbal development was rapid. I don't believe it's a product of his IQ (as his dad and grandparents like mentioning) - although I do know he's smart like all children - but a product of the environment carefully created for the purpose.

For example, last year, if you've already been reading this blog then, you will see some monthly posts where I listed Yuri's new words. Aside from serving as milestone posts (I don't trust myself with a paper), they actually serve a real reason (which I will tell you later).

Before I tackle the "tips" or the ways I did to try to stimulate his language development, let me repeat that I'm no expert - just an ordinary mom who happens to love learning. I don't think it would harm anyone of you to read and try these tips but do manage your expectations! Hehehe.

Are you ready? Here they go:

1. As an entire household, don't have moments of silence. Don't stop talking.

We didn't have any problems with these because we all love talking. In fact, the only time our home fully quiets down is when Yuri is sleeping. I think it's crucial to let the child see and hear and be aware of talking, and we all know how babies love mimicking adults.

Tip: If you are a quiet person, make an effort to always talk. No quiet time (or worse, gadget time!) please! If you find it awkward, tell your child about the activities you do. For example, "I'm washing my hands!" Or "Gusto mo maghugas ng kamay?"

2. In connection to number 1, get a talkative yaya or caregiver.

What is a good mom?

Yuri's "gift" to me. A "basket" daw with "bananas."

Hallmark doesn't make any money from me because I don't celebrate holidays except for Christmas, Easter, and birthdays. I looove these major holidays, but I see the "rest of 'em" as just ordinary days.

I don't even celebrate Valentine's Day, much less Mother's Day.

I guess that's just how we were raised. My family is not big on celebrating birthdays na nga, Mother's Day pa? The same can be said for Job, although he tries to send me simple "special" messages on those occasions (but I love the just-because messages more...)

But there's one person who never fails to send me heartfelt greetings on Mother's Day. That's Honey, Yuri's ate or yaya.

Although I'd never admit it to her face (sorry, I was never the expressive type), I feel blessed that God sent her to us to help me take care of Yuri. That's even though she makes me want to scream sometimes, okay, many times. I mean, ako yung may event pero 10 minutes nalang ako nakapaghanda kasi she took 40 minutes to get dressed? Mga ganun.

But that's off-topic hehe. Really, I feel blessed because in spite of her kaartehans and, sometimes, disobedience, I believe in my heart that she truly loves Yuri. I think that's the most important trait you would ever need to find in a yaya.

Going back to Mother's Day, that early morning, while Yuri was still sleeping and I was laughing over a joke Job cracked, I received this text message:

Of course I was touched. Who wouldn't? I don't think all household have helpers who are as thoughtful as Honey. But never being the emotional type, I immediately thought, "Oh no, she thinks so highly of me. Whatever have I done to deserve that?"

First of all, I'm far from the alpha-perfect mom image. I let my child eat sweets and processed foods. I don't really care when he touches something dirty. Sometimes I give him what he wants when he throws tantrums. There have been times when I want Yuri to go away because I'm busy or stressed at work - though I will never have the heart to tell him that.

I am not "the best mom ever." I let Yuri watch TV and play with gadgets so that I can rest after working. I sometimes tell him to pee in his diaper because I'm too sleepy or lazy to get up and accompany him to the potty. Sometimes I let him bite on a toy that I know is dirty. One time, I even let him eat a lollipop.

Potty Training Yuri: The Success!

I was supposed to publish this yesterday but I had to deal with the bane of my existence: no internet connection.

It has been more than 4 weeks since Yuri has been relatively successful in using the potty during daytime.

I say "4 weeks" because Yuri had finally consistently used the potty chair a week before his 2nd birthday, which was 3 weeks ago.

Sorry for the foul language; I couldn't find one more accurate hahahaha!

Yes, I couldn't still believe it. My boy was daytime potty-trained before his second birthday, and, well, I did it single-handedly. Yeah!

*accepts medal of valor*

*accepts gentle but firm slap by the Holy Spirit and returns to seat*

Anyway, I say "relatively" because ther are still, as expected, accidents. Especially the time when he ate too many slices of watermelon during dinner. The next morning, there was poop everywhere! To give Yuri credit, though, he did say "potty" before he helplessly pooped down my shorts. And he looked more mortified than me! Poor boy!

So how did we achieve this relative success? Here are some tips I can give you:

1. Do not force the child.

My kid is used to schedules and routines because both I and his yaya are sticklers for routines. However, in the case of potty-training, I let him be mainly because I know Yuri can be easily discouraged. I just bought a potty chair and let him be familiar with it.

One thing I did which you shouldn't do is be visibly stressed around the child. Stress is contagious and he can easily see the act of pooping and peeing as incorrectly stressful.

Also, don't ever force the kid to sit on the potty chair. Gently guide him to it and encourage him to sit down but don't ever do what I once did which is physically restrain him to the seat. Choose your battles, momma!

2. Do not stress yourself about the 2-day or 3-day methods.

Like what I mentioned, Yuri is familiar with routines and is visibly becoming a schedule-person. However, these routines, like naptime and outdoors-time, were established over months. While I heard of 2 and 3 days methods, I know it wouldn't work for Yuri.

Why? Because it's pretty shocking. I mean, the boy was pooping and peeing in his diapers all his life! Suddenly making him do these stuff seated on a chair can be downright scary. It wouldn't be fair to make them shift into this new stage in life in just a couple of days.

Then again, some babies really do learn to potty in just a matter of days. If yours does, congratulations! If yours does not, high five!

--- Okay, what I gave you were more on mental and emotional tips. What about physical and material preparedness? Here are more of my tips:

3. Potty-training is most stress-free if the child can communicate.

I'm pretty blessed to have a talkative child, and to be honest, it made the process of potty-training a lot easier. This is because he can easily tell me if he needs to go potty.

I'm not talking about just verbal communication either. Some smart mommas teach their babies sign language which makes communication easy and efficient. Even if your child can't talk yet but can easily relay to you the poop and/or pee message, then I say go for it!

Not all will agree with me, but if you're not yet very comfortable about your child's communication skills - but he'll get there! - I really suggest you be patient. Save yourself and your child from the unnecesary stress. Again, choose your battles!

4. Choose the right potty chair.

Thoughts on the Mommy Wars

I am not a fan of the so-called mommy wars. I must admit that I am passionate about the choices I make (i.e. breastfeeding, attachment parenting, and open-ended play) and I have a strong opinion about them, but I will never think of having an actual argument with another parent about these choices.

I am only human so there are times I catch myself judging other parents, but God made me realize I could be easily like them have my circumstances been different.

Now, I've been lucky that in the first two years of Yuri's life, I haven't encountered anyone who debated my beliefs. Sure, I received a couple of comments when Yuri still wasn't walking at 12 months old, but those were from family and family friends. They don't have the right to judge, yes, but I'd rather hear comments from them than from actual strangers. I considered myself lucky for never having them.

But I recently realized that as the child grows up, the "war" becomes less about you and your parenting style and more about the child and his milestones.

Unfortunately, I learned this in one weekend and in two different incidents.

None of these incidents were really harmful - in fact, they were bordering on petty - but it made me see how easy it is to judge other people.

First one is from a dad, an American neighbor, who just happened to pass along our house one Saturday afternoon. He had his son with him who was just a couple of months older than Yuri.

He asked me how old Yuri is and I asked him about his son, too. Then he asked me how many words Yuri can already speak.

You see, at that time, Yuri was just making random noises while playing with the other child.

I hesitated, frankly because I have already lost track. And also because I had to speak in English haha. I started, "Well..."

But he cut me off and said, "Oh he can't speak yet."

"What?"

"He can't speak yet? My son can already say many words. English, Filipino, even some Bisaya words. He (pointing to Yuri) can't speak yet?"