However, if I can turn back time and do it all over again, there are several things that I would do differently. Looking back, I can think of several things I regret doing and not doing. Back then, I felt as if I was doing okay, but sometimes, I can't help but cringe when I think how ignorant and incapable I was!
Honestly, when I look at Yuri and how he turned out, I realize I must have done an acceptable job, but if I had a chance, there are several things that I would have done when he was born or before he was born. Here are those things:
5-day old Yuri
1. Feeding formula to a newborn Yuri
What? An exclusively breastfeeding mom for almost 2 years fed her baby with formula? Before I go on, let me clarify that I have nothing against moms who formula-feed. After all, I was formula-fed. I am thankful that I am able to breastfeed so easily. However, many of you don't know that Yuri's first food wasn't from my breasts; it was from a can of S26.
You see, I gave birth with complications. I don't have time to tell the whole story, but here's a blog post you might want to read. While I was confined in the room, Yuri was confined for 6 days in the NICU. When the doctor finally gave me the go-signal to feed him, despite the pain, I carried myself to the NICU to breastfeed. However, my mother was not with me. The hospital (I only knew later) wasn't a BF advocate, so the nurses were not equipped to teach me how. The midwife told me to just point my nipple at my son's mouth, but surprisingly, he wouldn't take it. By then, I didn't know that I had to latch my baby. I didn't know how. I thought we could just let nature take its course, but, as expected, it didn't. The impatient midwife took the baby from me and told me to just buy formula. In the end, for the first days of his life, Yuri fed on formula and not on my breast milk.
It might not be a big deal to you, but for an EBF mom like me, I regret that so much. Until now, I still have the sneaking suspicion that Yuri wasn't able to take colostrum at all, which my mom would always negate. I hope she is right. It doesn't really matter now, but I feel as if my newborn child was deprived of something he deserved just because I wasn't informed. (Which explains why I over-inform myself now!)
The average number of cloth diapers I wash daily
Many of you might know that I only bought cloth diapers for the first time recently. Yuri was already 20 months old by then. This is because I had a lot of misconceptions about CDs. I read a lot about it, and I know its benefits, but somehow, I wasn't convinced. All I could think about was the pile of laundry!
Fast forward to now and I regret not taking the plunge to cloth-diaper when Yuri was still a newborn. Now, I don't have to rush to the store whenever Yuri's diaper supply is running out. Also, I don't have to look at money going down the drain (Yuri is notorious for pooping just when his diaper is freshly changed). I do have to launder his CDs (yes, I wash his diapers!) everyday - even twice a day - and I'm working full-time. Surprisingly, it's not as heavy a chore as I originally thought! I find it easy and even fun because they're cute.
While it's not too late to begin cloth-diapering a child, I would've maximized the benefits if we started early!
We should have had more of these high-quality shots!
I only discovered my interest in taking good photos of my child recently. What bad timing! It is so hard to take an acceptable photo of a perpetually-running toddler! On hindsight, I should have honed this interest when he was still a helpless newborn who didn't really move. I should have taken hundreds of print-worthy photos during that time!
While I do think an expensive camera does not automatically translate to a good photo, looking back, I should have been more vigilant about the camera I bought. My basic point-and-shoot takes okay photos, and sometimes, I do hit the jackpot, but I should have bought something with faster shutter speed. #momofarunningtoddlerproblems
In a walker at 9 months old
4. Not using the proper baby gearWhen my former office mates held a surprise baby shower for me (pre-blogging days), I asked for a carrier. Yes, it was a surprise party, but I knew they were going to give me something hehe. I asked for a carrier because it was what my mom used when my sister was a baby. I thought carriers were a must-have (I was utterly uninformed). Of course, they bought me a carrier - which I never got to use because Yuri felt so uncomfortable in it.
If only I read more parenting blogs, I would have known that I should have asked for a sling. Yuri and I would have felt more comfy using it.
Another gear that I regret using is Yuri's walker. It was actually an unavoidable mistake because my sister's walker is still alive and my parents badly wanted me to use it. Despite my protests, I still obeyed my parents' wishes. Using it was not really harmful, but now, I'm convinced it was part of the reasons behind Yuri's delayed walking (he was able to stand up on his own when he was already 13 months old). I should have bought a cheap andador instead!
Now I know I should trust in the wisdom of the natives. Again, lack of research on my part!
You can't see it, but there were so many toys in his crib.
Unless you're a person very close to me, I will not demand a specific gift. When people would ask me what I would like them to give to Yuri, I will just say the very-Filipino line, Bahala ka na. Thus, it really isn't a surprise when Yuri's toy box immediately became full with electronic toys.
Well, this is a very recent and minor regret. Up until a month ago, I was okay with electronic toys. I even gave my inaanak electronic toys. However, when I was researching for early homeschooling, I realized I should have asked for books instead. For toys, it would have been better if I asked for non-electronic and educational toys such as Legos and puzzles. Nevertheless, I'm still very thankful for the toys and gifts we have received - but things will be different from now on!
Even our first birthday photo-shoot was DIY!
Well, Yuri's first two weeks was spent in and out of the hospital. Throughout the early months, I was virtually alone in taking care of a fussy, colicky baby. I was running on 2-3 hours of sleep - staggard - and nursing on demand. I even tried squeezing in some work and earned a grand total of less than P2000 a month. A newborn photoshoot was not the last thing on my list - it wasn't on the list at all! Still, I get a bit jealous looking at pictures from newborn photo-shoots. I regret not having a decent photo of Yuri as a newborn! Okay, that's an exaggeration, but I should have tried to mark his newborn days with a beautiful one.
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Reading this post, I realize I did a lot of wrong things in mothering! On the bright side, I realize I surely learned a lot from 2 years' worth of mothering. Do you also have parenting regrets? I know these regrets are unchangeable, and I'm pretty sure I would do or not do more things that I will regret in the future, but the beautiful thing is that there's always tomorrow to do things right. We cannot turn back time, but there's always a clean slate tomorrow. What a blessing!
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