When my toddler was still a baby, I swore I will never nag or bribe because I know these will never result to anything good. But now, out of desperation, I find myself either nagging to death or bribing my son with a toy or a treat to make him follow me.
The book, "Motivate Your Child" by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN BSN, is what I need.
Image from Amazon
The book basically focuses on how many parents today are using external methods of motivating their children. Yes, these include nagging and bribing, and these are very misdirected. These result to short-term effects where the child obeys just to either avoid punishment or get the reward.
Nagging is tiresome. On the other hand, if your child was exposed to a reward system that is basically bribing, you have no choice but to "outdo" the last reward. I actually see this in my sister today who, before obeying, will ask, "What is in it for me?"
The book then ultimately says that the best way to motivate a child is to motivate them internally. The writers call this form of parenting "heart parenting." What does it mean?
This approach entails removing the external reward-consequence system and looking into the root of the matter: the heart.
