What You Can Sacrifice This Holy Week

Source: oakwoodfwb.com

I belatedly realized that this week pala is Holy Week. I blame that on not being fully employed (until today -  I will share with you the details soon!) and the jetlag from our trip.

Kung makajetlag, akala mo kung saan nanggaling. Luzon lang pala!

Anyway, I've been hearing and reading again promises to give up meat on Holy Friday. If you love eating meat and want to sacrifice something you love in order to deny yourself and focus on Jesus, by all means, go ahead. You have my full support (if it matters).

BUT

But if you're only giving up meat because many other people are doing it, you may be doing it just to fit in. In other words, the sacrifice is not for the Lord but for other people.

Also, if you're not into eating meat in the first place, what's the point of giving it up? And if you're going to replace pork with baked salmon or roast turkey, is it still sacrifice?

Are You a Nagger? (Review of "Motivate Your Child" by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller)

Sometimes, I have no choice but to subscribe to the nagging and bribing academy of parenting.

When my toddler was still a baby, I swore I will never nag or bribe because I know these will never result to anything good. But now, out of desperation, I find myself either nagging to death or bribing my son with a toy or a treat to make him follow me.

The book, "Motivate Your Child" by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN BSN, is what I need.

Image from Amazon

The book basically focuses on how many parents today are using external methods of motivating their children. Yes, these include nagging and bribing, and these are very misdirected. These result to short-term effects where the child obeys just to either avoid punishment or get the reward.

Nagging is tiresome. On the other hand, if your child was exposed to a reward system that is basically bribing, you have no choice but to "outdo" the last reward. I actually see this in my sister today who, before obeying, will ask, "What is in it for me?"

The book then ultimately says that the best way to motivate a child is to motivate them internally. The writers call this form of parenting "heart parenting." What does it mean?

This approach entails removing the external reward-consequence system and looking into the root of the matter: the heart.

Exhausted!

Source: internetcafedevotions.com

It's a few minutes before 6 am, I just woke up, and my body feels tired and achy-breaky all over.

I wasn't even able to work out so there is only one reason for this tiredness: work!

I have been feeling exhausted since last week. I know this is because I have begun working looonger hours because we've been required to be a lot more meticulous at work. So now, a single job takes a lot more time. For example, if I used 30 minutes for an essay before, now, I'm using around 50 minutes.

Unfortunately, this means reduced output throughout the day, and I'm being paid per essay. Before, I worked from 8 to 4:30, but now, I'm working from 8 to 6, with reduced pay. Ugh.

Well, I'm not here to complain about work again. I'm here to say I'm so tired of being exhausted. You know that feeling? Because of my longer hours, I'm no longer able to get more things done. Because I slump before my laptop for 9-10 hours, my body feels the effects, too. I get muscle aches all over.

And I'm not even losing weight! I no longer have the time or energy to clean up Yuri's mess, much less actually work out. And because of stress, I find myself eating more. Huhu.

Then I also couldn't churn out substantial blogs anymore. After working, we eat dinner, wash up, and before Yuri gets to sleep, I already fall asleep. Yesterday, I fell asleep on Yuri's playmat while watching the news -  as in TV Patrol at 7 o'clock.

What's worse is that I don't remember the last time I had a decent devotional. I haven't touched my planner-slash-devo notebook (see review of Certified Positive planner here) and haven't had a long prayer with God for the longest time. Because, you're right, I keep falling asleep.

This morning, I was berating myself for falling asleep again last night. I had planned to finally do a decent devo but, you know, I fell asleep again. I even left my cellphone plugged into the power bank. But while I asked God for help (and deliverance?), He reminded me of this simple poem I had read so many months ago:

And We Can Uplift Each Other

I don't remember the last time I blogged lightheartedly. Oh I remember pala. It was during Job's birthday the other week. Was it only 10 days ago? It seems like a lifetime.

Last week, I felt down for reasons I will describe below. However, there was also one thing that occurred last week that forced made me to remember the happy things. Look at this photo:

You see toys; I see hope.

This photo was sent to me in an envelope containing more photos and a letter. A thank you letter. See, the envelope came from World Vision. Aside from the photo above, there were other photos depicting a handsome smiling boy in a shopping cart with her mother, shopping for toys and clothes.

The boy is a 3-year old, almost the same age as Yuri, and one of my World Vision sponsors. The letter came from him and his mom, thanking me for my meager contribution to their joy. Joy not because of the toys and clothes but joy because of the hope that we can help each other and uplift each other. It's not impossible pala.

And it made me rethink some things in light of a different context:

For A Special One

Source: http://thepleatedpolkadot.blogspot.com

Today is the birthday of one of the most important men in my life: Job!

As I was waiting for 12 midnight last night to greet him, I was innocently browsing posts upon posts about (my) Leo - the 90s Leo. Just an occasional binge session. I know Job will confidently say na ka-level nya lang si Leo, and if we were physically together, I would jokingly poke him in the ribs. Annoying! But still, no matter how big of a star Leo is, I will never replace Job with him.

Riiiight. As if may chance. Harharhar.

Anyway, as much as I would love to include a photo here, I still haven't recovered my photos from my old phone. So here's Leo:

GIF from a compilation in this beautiful Buzzfeed post

Hehehe. That's Leo for the benefit of you girls. I have a mental picture of my own Leo, thank you very much!

On a serious note, I have a personal prayer for Job. I actually pray about every aspect of his life daily, and today is no different. Most of all, I pray for his faith to grow even more stronger and for him to grow even closer to God.

But since my prayer is too personal, I decided not to share it here publicly. However, I got a couple of nice prayers from the interwebs (okay, Pinterest), and it is my hope that they will lead you to pray for your own relationships and special someones. Here they are:

Source: marydemuth.com

Source: thenewlywedpilgrimage.com

So ladies, let's not cease praying. Even when it's hard to do, even when it's inconvenient, as these are the times when we usually need to pray. Remember that we need to cover our loved ones, especially our partners and husbands, with prayer. Be blessed, everyone!

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How I Came to Like Pope Francis

Although my mother wrote "Catholic" in one of my recent real estate forms with conviction, I simply am not. Although I conform to their way of prayer and going to church, I am doing so out of a desire to obey. I am a Born Again Christian, and though I believe Catholics are Christians, too, there are many aspects of the system that I can't adhere to.

One of them is the concept of a "Vicar of Christ" or a person who represents Jesus on earth. Jesus is not absent in the first place and doesn't need a proxy. If there's a "Vicar of Christ," it should be the Holy Spirit.

Source: http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org

Since the concept is not in the Bible, I cannot subscribe to the idea in peace. The same goes for apostolic succession.

That doesn't mean I don't view Pope Francis as a godly Christian leader. In fact, in my eyes, he is that. I expect him to be that.

I was initially touched when I found out he wanted to visit the typhoon victims in Tacloban. Pope or not, I believe this is a good example to follow when it comes to loving the poor. But to be completely honest, I considered that it could be just another publicity stunt for popularity.

I guess I've been a doubting Thomas.

So yesterday, when he arrived in the country, despite my sister's excitement, I feigned nonchalance and continued doing my basic Pilates. Which is very hard, by the way. Oh the things you do for love.

And I digress. Anyway, so the Pope arrived and the crowds on TV were cheering. Almost every post on my social media feeds was about him. Then he finally stepped out of the plane and his cap was blown by the wind. I smiled and my tween sister couldn't stop laughing.

Source: dailymail.co.uk

I must admit that he seems to radiate godliness when you look at him. I was touched when I saw him hugging the little boy. He must be genuine after all. Of course, my skeptical self quickly caught up and I thought maybe, again, this was just a popularity stunt.

Why did I keep accusing the Pope of this? It's because I judged him through the articles written about him. Articles that portray him as a Pope who was willing to compromise what is written in the Word to be popular. Which, in hindsight, could be incorrect. In my judgmental eyes, I was convinced that you couldn't just believe that a person is godly based on what you see.

Then the irony hit me like a ton of bricks.

I came to like the Pope not because of what he did and not because of what I read or heard or saw. It's because of what God clearly told me that afternoon.

My opinion was that "... you couldn't just believe that a person is godly based on what you see." How hypocritical of me. If I shouldn't like a person based on what I see, what made me think judging was any different? I shouldn't judge a person based on what I see because I cannot see his heart. Only God can. I need to be wary of declaring people as inauthentic in their faith just the same as I need to be wary of believing anything thrown at me.

In other words, I should be slow to judgment and criticism. Instead, I need to be more compassionate and believe in the goodwill of people - or believe in the presence of goodwill in the first place. Those were the words God spoke to me when I knee-deep in judging and criticizing.

Pope Francis had been an undeserving victim of my unfair prejudice. With that said, let me clarify that I look up to him as a Christian Church leader, nothing more and nothing less. But now I truly want to believe in his goodwill and godliness and that he doesn't have agenda other than bringing the Light of Christ to those who need it.

I only hope the people view him as a human leader, not as someone divine, certainly not God.

What are your thoughts on his visit?

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Book Review: The Sacred Year by Michael Yankowski

Source: booklookbloggers.com

I'm sorry; I just can't be at peace with this book.

I've read many Christian books and this is the first book that drew many questions from me that is not in a good way.

The writer, Michael Yankowski, is a Christian motivational speaker. Paraphrasing the book's summary, he got disillusioned with his lifestyle and decided to pursue a year of "focused engagement with spiritual practices" to experience faith.

Guided by the voice of Father Solomon--a local monk--Yankoski's Sacred Year slowly transforms his life... His story will resonate with those who wish to deepen their own committed faith... for their own authentic encounter with the Divine.

I have conflicting feelings about the book. The summary above alone should've been a red flag. Referring to God as merely "the Divine" and spiritual realizations guided by the voice of a monk? They seem harmless until you realize that throughout the book, there isn't much focus on the Christian God and Jesus' Gospel.

I'm a Christian and I Let My Child Go Trick-or-Treat

Yes, I let my toddler join our neighborhood trick-or-treat.

I remember that Halloween of last year, I was so excited to join the event, but we weren't able to attend because of the downpour. I was already Christian back then but I have been used to practicing secular things during that time, allowing me to forget some of the minor aspects of my belief.

You see, more than 4 years ago, when I decided to follow Christ, I let go not only of my vices (smoking and drinking) but also my guilty pleasure, which is all things "horror." That means I also stopped "celebrating" Halloween. (And we all know its pagan roots, right?)

Again, last year was a different case because I conveniently forgot this aspect of my faith. Now, this year, when I made the decision to strengthen my faith again (late last year actually), I have had mixed convictions regarding Halloween and, by extension, Trick-or-Treat.

But we went anyway. Here are my reasons:

1. First, my mother is a major officer in the village, and since the Trick-or-Treat is a village activity that they sponsored, we needed to show support.
2. Second, we've been cooped inside the house for quite a while now because of my work and the weather and we're itching to play with other kids and interact.
3. Third, there was never a time when I didn't like dressing up. I love costumes, and this was a good opportunity to dress Yuri in one (not me haha).

And I have to tell you that we had fun. Yuri got to see some of his friends again and I'm glad that 90% of them are in cute, completely wholesome costumes. (Yesterday, I posted photos of his friends in their cute Halloween costumes.)

Yuri's mood changed when some older kids whom we didn't know started arriving. They were dressed in gory, bloody costumes that bothered even me, an adult.

However, we tried to make the best out of the evening by eating, having fun, and getting as much candy as we can from generous neighbors.

But after coming home and eating some of our loot (and brushing our teeth with feelings), I laid awake because I was still confused. Have I done the right thing by joining Trick-or-Treat?

Teaching Toddlers Obedience

Image: mirror.co.uk

Is your toddler testing your patience by testing his limits?

I want to begin this post with this disclaimer: I don't know much. Yuri is my only child and he did just turn 2 five months ago (he's 29 months today!). Which means my experience as a mom to a 2-year old is not worth anything, really.

But let me tell you this: I've never experienced a "terrible 2" moment. Yet. Seasoned moms will tell me that I'm speaking too soon, and maybe I am, but apart from the fact that Yuri is not really prone to throwing tantrums (he is kinda dramatic though...), we're beginning to curb the tendencies by teaching him to obey.

Suicide Is Not Unforgivable

Image: ressurrection.wordpress.com

Robin Williams has been dead for days now, and most of you might have read dozens of news-related stories already, but I chose to write this one today because truth be told, I didn't know what to think... about suicide, in particular and in general.

It wasn't until last night that I was finally enlightened.

I was raised as a Catholic who believed in mortal sin or sin that cannot be forgiven. It includes murder, and since suicide is virtually a kind of murder, it is automatically unforgivable. At least that's what the "doctrines" say. I believed that one automatically went to hell when he commits suicide.

Well, that really bothered me because in high school, a friend of mine, a pretty girl who is a "rich kid" who got everything she wanted, took her life by hanging herself with a scarf inside her closet. She was only 16.

But the idea that suicide was unforgivable remained. I'm ashamed to say it now, but I looked with disdain at those who commit it. You can throw stones at me because I'll be honest: I condemned them. In my eyes, they just did not fight hard enough.

Fast forward to several years when I became a Born Again Christian. I got to have a clearer understanding of Jesus and the Good News. Despite my many sins, I am saved. Halleluiah! But I still wasn't so sure about those who commit suicide. Truth be told, I never really bothered.

News about Robin Williams came, and though I adored him, I still was pretty much convinced that suicide was unforgivable.

Until last night.

Priest vs. Single Mother: My Two Cents

It was yesterday when I saw the video showing a priest giving a sermon to a young, unwed mom in an angry and quite humiliating way. It was the lady's child's baptism.

You can see the video here: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=792490147452349

I wanted to react right then and there. This is because aside from being a single mom myself, I also experienced a "milder" form of bullying from a Catholic church worker during my son's baptism, too. Never mind the fact that I'm not Catholic in the first place. It's a long story.

But I chose to give my 2 cents a day after (which is today) to prevent myself from reacting from indignation.

As a single mom, too, I can strongly sympathize with the lady. That doesn't mean I admire what she did.

Love Doesn't Keep Record of Wrongs

Boy, did this line from the letter to Corinthians ever hit so close to home. Here's why.

Remember how I talked about having a misunderstanding with Job last Monday? We were finally able to sort things out just Wednesday night (I actually wrote this post after we made up).

My issue was that I felt he was giving more time to his work than to me. Quite selfish, I know. I'm willing to understand, but Monday was a special day for us, and I really felt he should've at least saved even just a few minutes to talk to me.

(We did talk, but not the kind of talk that I wanted. What can I do? I'm a girl!)

But in my defense, motherhood can be lonely. Staying at home every day can be even lonelier. And I tend to get fixated with the loneliness, so I collect stories along the week and look forward to sharing them Job. And when my "bonding" expectations aren't met... I guess you can guess what happens next.

(I also guess now you sort of understand why I blog: I have so many stories saved in my head!)

Yes, for what seems to be a petty issue, it took me 3 days to forgive.

To be fair, it was really hard to communicate. We still keep what we promised to only talk on Sundays, but this was an exception since we were having an issue. But since both of us are busy, the only time we get to talk is at night.

And if you must know Job, let's just say he's extremely protective of his bedtime. No one, I mean no one can get in his way if he wants to sleep.

That's aside from the fact that, as wonderful as he is, he can be dense sometimes. Men!

The bonus part is that he's been working harder these days so he's more tired. Tired = denser = earlier bedtime = not interested in long talks. So on Monday and Tuesday night, instead of being able to talk it over, he fell asleep before we ever reached closure. Instead of getting over the issue, I was getting more and more frustrated!

I was also getting more hurt because I felt that his actions only showed what I told him that he doesn't have time for me anymore.

You see, Job is a conflict-avoider. He prefers to just say "sorry" to prevent a fight. In other words, para hindi humaba ang usapan. He lives by this proverb:

Image from Pinterest

And I hate that because I feel that he doesn't take the time to really understanding my point and my feelings.

He was also frustrated because he couldn't understand why I couldn't forgive.