What I Learned from our Separation and Love Triangle

Image: kre-do.tumblr.com

Today, let's talk about love. I'm not going to talk about boring finances. Let's talk about what I learned from the 2 months separation I've had with Job and the love triangle that formed within our relationship.

I know, I know. So anti-climactic and anti-romantic, right? Well, help me pray that on the next Valentine's Day, I'll be talking about something mushy and lovey dovey. We all want that, right?

But for now, I have accepted my season of waiting and planting. I have come to appreciate it, actually. Although the sting of "separation" is there, I am able to go through this phase with the grace of God. So let's talk about the separation first.

Last December, weeks before Christmas, Job and I have come to the decision to stop communicating. That was God's command. Now, it's a long story and I don't want to delve into the details, but you can read this blog post if you're interested.

It's been 2 months, and there are still days when I don't think I can get through the day without feeling the urgent need to talk to Job. It's a good thing we schedule weekly talks where we talk like crazy (I, mostly), but waiting until Sunday is hard. Then I realized this command is actually an exercise of faith. Much like physical workouts, this phase we are now in stretches our faith muscles. We grow in faith through struggles like this.

Image: faith1stministries.com

I learned and am learning a lot of things, and, being the sharer that I am, I'm going to share them with you (along with the prayer that God blesses you, too):

1. I need to cling onto God.

Last December and January, a couple of storms passed through Mindanao. They made landfalls during the days when Job and I didn't allow ourselves to talk to each other. And given the damage Yolanda had just brought to the country, not being able to know how the other was doing was driving us crazy!

In my case, all I heard were reports about damages in some parts of Surigao. Ironically (quite funnily, too), all Job heard on his side were news about Davao. The funny thing was both of our places were spared, so we were worrying about nothing.

But of course we didn't know that. All I did was worry and later on prayed. I prayed really hard that Job and his family would be safe and dry. It wasn't until Sunday when Job made me realize that we were helplessly clinging on to God. God placed us in a situation where we really could not do anything, and our only option was to cling onto him. And guess what? That's what God loves His children to do!

2. I need to exercise patience.

Patience is a virtue I practice, but I realized I needed to practice it more. On the other hand, while Job struggles with discipline - he sometimes finds himself struggling against not messaging me outside our designated day - I don't find this a problem. However, I struggle with waiting and, more importantly, waiting with a good attitude. 2 months later and I'm still counting the days before Sunday! Not that bad but I really need to be more patient.

3. I need to make the most out of limited time.

I have written in some old posts that my most often committed sin would be my short sweet temper. Unfortunately, Job had found himself on its receiving end many times. Now, though, because we only get to talk to each other one day a week, I find myself setting my pride aside to avoid anger.

There are still times when I get annoyed or provoked by something Job said (unintentionally usually!), but knowing the limited time we have, by God's grace, I am able to put my own emotions to the backburner.
And you know what? This applies not just to our own situation but also to life in general. If we always keep in mind the truth that our time is limited, perhaps we could be spending more time loving than getting frustrated!

Image: http://everlastingjesus.tumblr.com/

4. I need to value myself.

Like most moms, I often forget myself because I put others' needs before mine. This is not the statement of a martyr. It's the statement of an ordinary mom as I know most moms are like this.

Thankfully, God made me realize that I should love myself, too. God is the source of love, and if I have a personal relationship with Him, I need to absorb as much love as I can.

Don't get me wrong; Job fulfills my need for romantic love. However, I cannot depend on another person to complete me. It's God's job, and my job is to make sure I am able to fill myself with love so that I can also fill others' tanks with it.

I'm starting with the easy tasks. Reading actual books, eating healthy foods, exercising. And I love it. Who knows? Maybe I can actually visit a salon soon! Hee hee

5. I need to be value my other relationships.

This is a realization I have had even before we reached The Decision. I'm pretty sure God is making me wait now because I've been such a cr@ppy daughter, sister, and friend during the first year of my relationship with Job.

I know Job didn't have anything to do with it, but somehow, I was under the impression that I could treat anyone the way I wanted to because I was so secure in his company. And I really did treat everyone cr@ppily! I was barely home, ignoring calls from churchmates, breaking friendships with college classmates. The works.

Now I'm slowly building up what I alone have torn down, and Job has been awfully supportive. I call this my "reconciliation year" because i'm working on reconciling broken relationships.

6. Trust is an aspect God controls.

Many ask me, especially those who don't know Job and don't know me very much, how we could last in a long-distance barely-there-communication relationship. Simple: I don't know.

All I know is that there is a faithful God that sustains us. Honestly, there never was a time when I doubted Job's fidelity, and he tells me he never did, too. Although there are some pangs of insecurity, all we do is, again, cling onto God.

You see, you could never control a person. Even if you see each other everday, if a person wants to cheat, s/he will. This is an aspect that only God can control. Because we leave this to God, we don't have trust issues.

I can say that I trust Job because I know in my heart that he fears and loves the Lord. I don't want to sound conceited, but many women have tried to, you know. But I was never bothered not because I was confident of myself. Not because I was confident of his love. But because I am confident of his love for God.

I know and he knows he's accountable to the Lord. He often tells me that nothing could keep him from cheating, but he doesn't because he doesn't want to hurt God.

Yes, folks. He says he doesn't want to hurt God, not me. I guess this is the secret? Find a man with integrity and with a genuine fear of sinning. Find a partner who loves God before you.

He can say the same for me, too. He once told me that he has full confidence in me and had never doubted me even once. I can do whatever I want with the money he sends me! But I don't. To tell you the truth, I don't even touch it. This is not because I'm good but because Jesus is good, and I want to imitate him.

Image: http://borntomakeanimpact.tumblr.com/

7. A love triangle needs to be formed - with Jesus in the center.

It used to be just Job and me - period. Like what I mentioned above, I shunned all the other people around me. Well, aside from that, I also shunned God. In reality, He should not just be included in a relationship: He should be right smack in the middle of it.

It's easy to say but difficult to follow. What does placing Jesus in the center of a relationship really mean?

It means making Jesus the first and true love of our lives.

It means taking a step only when Jesus says "yes."

It means not taking a step when Jesus says "no."

It means clinging onto faith in something that is not seen (I'm pertaining to not only God himself but also our future).

It's denying ourselves of our selfish tendencies.

It's taking up our crosses - and our partners' crosses, too.

It is building our partners up even when we're down and broken.

It's understanding our partners even if they don't understand us.

It's respecting them when they're not respectable.

It's loving them when they're least lovable.

Why? Because that's how Jesus loves us. And when He's in the center of the relationship, we are supposed to love one another with the love of Jesus Christ.

It's hard. But the good news is that when Jesus is in the center of the relationship, He sustains us. Even if the love of our partners is undependable and imperfect, we always have Jesus' perfect and unfailing love.

Our situation is hard. I'm not claiming that I have the most difficult life because I don't, but this is one of the hardest things I ever had to do. It's not easy. It's an everyday battle, a battle that requires me to have a strong and steady front even when my heart is crumbling. It's a battle I (we) silently fight.

But I know that with God's grace, everything is gonna be okay.

Image: gwynethinprogress.wordpress.com

That's it. Happy Valentine's Day. :-)

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My Love's Birthday

To Daddy:

It's your 2_th birthday yesterday. (Fill in the blank na lang hehe). I intended to write a birthday post for you the day before yesterday, but I seriously could not think of anything to write. And yes, after the delay, that's the best title I can come up with. Too cheesy. Teehee.

It's the third birthday you're celebrating with me and the second birthday we're celebrating as an official couple. And year after year, I still find myself at a loss for the right words to say to you. I couldn't settle on just "good enough." You deserve only the perfect words.

So I'll say what I need to say. First, I am sorry. I'm sorry for never being as patient as you are. I'm sorry for always picking fights. But you need to understand, Dy. I just love being wooed by you. And I'm glad you know that. :D

More importantly, thank you. "Thank you for loving me." - These are the exact words you told me almost two years ago. But it's me who needs to say these words. Thank you for being such a loving person to me and a doting dad to Y. Thank you for understanding our situation. A lesser man would have given up a long time ago, but you proved to me that you are not the lesser man. Thank you for persevering. You are not perfect at all, Dy, but thank you for trying to be the best man you could be.

Most of all, I love you. Please know that I can never love you more than I love my God or our son, but you're the only one I love this way. And I plan to keep on loving you this way, Dy.

To my best friend, my lover, my confidante, my inspiration - to the love of my life, happy birthday. :-)

Love,
Mommy

Hello there, mini version of me!

PS:

Sorry for the grainy photo. All our pictures are in my old memory card, which my old cellphone mercilessly killed. The rest are already printed, and I didn't have time to scan them. So I grabbed a photo from your phone. Hehehe.

It breaks my heart.

Disclaimer: This is a personal and emotional post. You may skip this and read my other posts instead, if you want to. :-)

If you know me, you'll see me as a funny person who will try to make you laugh. Chances are, you'll see me as a "sunny" person who barely gets in a dark mood. I will kid you around until you get annoyed. And these are true. I'm mostly an all-smiles person who will wear you down with my hyperactivity.

But as the saying goes, sometimes, the happiest people are the saddest. Unfortunately, this reflects my truth. Am I kidding? No, I'm not. This is the first and only time I will admit this. I am sad.  I think I've been able to hide this perfectly, but in reality, my heart breaks everyday.

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you may have already known that my boyfriend - Y's dad - and I are not together. Well, we are not together physically, but we are still strongly together metaphorically. And that's what breaks my heart. Here we are, having a strong and perfect relationship, but we couldn't see each other and he couldn't even see his own son.

You see, my parents are very much against my boyfriend, J. For them, I was the "perfect" daughter. I got good grades, never got into fights and never even entered a relationship until I graduated from college. So they had pretty high dreams for me - until I got pregnant. So for them, J destroyed all of those dreams. And I could not blame them for getting mad. But frankly, is that enough reason to deny a child a complete family?

This is what breaks my heart.

It breaks my heart that Y is getting bigger and smarter everyday, but his dad is not here to see it. He was not here when Y was born. It breaks my heart to see that his dad never saw his first smile. J never saw how he fast he eats. J never saw how his son would light up when his favorite commercial comes on.

It breaks my heart to see other families that are complete. When I see other dads playing with their babies, I badly want to see how Y would have shrieked in laughter, too, if his dad played with him. I badly want to see how Y would fit snugly in J's arms. I'm pretty sure he would prefer his dad to carry him.

Most of the time, I pity myself. I could not even give Y a complete family. Y doesn't deserve this. But I can't cry. I need to be a strong because I'm not a little girl anymore. I need to be strong.

Every day, I pray for the courage to be able finally stand up for J and Y - my own family. But every night, I get into bed defeated. Cowardice has eaten me again. And I tell myself, I'll try again tomorrow. But honestly, I don't know what to do. And it breaks my heart.

So if you're reading this, do me a favor and tell me what to do.

Goals for 2013

Image from fabfitsquad.com

I'm bad at new year's resolutions; I can barely keep them. But I keep listing these resolutions down, in hope that the coming year would be different. Nah. This year, what I have is an actual game-plan, or goals that I will achieve in 2013. So what's the difference? I'm actually not sure, but somehow, the word "goals" seems more serious than "resolutions." Hahaha. But seriously, no crossed fingers for this year, only prayers and strong willpower.

Here are my goals for 2013:

1. Go to the gym and maintain 50-kg weight.

For the slim among you, 50-kg may seem scary. But for me who has been beyond the 70 mark (pregnancy issues), it's perfect. I'm happy that constant breastfeeding keeps my weight low; in fact, each time I stand on the weighing scale, the numbers get lower. But sooner or later, Y will stop breastfeeding. I'm actually happy with how I look now, and I plan on maintaining my present weight by going to the gym.

Of course, I can't go to the gym regularly if Y is still very attached to me (read: breastfeeding), so I will start my membership hopefully once the -ber months roll in. Also, I have never set foot inside a gym before, seriously, so I also hope someone can accompany me. *bats eyelashes*

2. Work harder on this blog and form a Davao network.

This blog has been a great outlet for me. I'm working at home, so most of the time, I'm alone with no workmates. Basically, I can only truly talk to one person - J - and even he's not available all the time. Without this blog, I would've gone insane because I've no one to talk to.

But aside from being my personal outlet, I want this blog to be bigger. I want to meet more people, so I want to create a local network here in my city, Davao. I'm aware that there's already a network of Davao bloggers, but they're mostly young, single people. While I am still very young, I want to connect with the ones whom I will surely relate with - moms. I'll work on this on January.

3. Do better at work and hopefully become a team leader.

It's no secret that I think I'm very lucky with my job. It pays well and doesn't require me to be away from my baby. I'm very contented, but I want to be a more valuable player in my team. This means I have to better, more skilled, and less complacent. Hopefully, I will become a team leader before the year ends.

4. De-clutter my life.

I'm not talking about emotional clutter or anything deep like that. All I'm talking about is the actual, physical mess in my bedroom. Seriously! When I was digging through my closet for some things to donate to those affected by Pablo, as well as some stuff to give to the indigenous people who might pass by our subdivision, I discovered a lot of clothes which I haven't worn in a year or so.

Because of this, I'm planning to have a garage sale next year. I may do this around June, maybe, once I get the go-signal from J. Why do I need a go-signal? Because if I sell my old clothes, I may also throw in some of Y's outgrown onesies and rompers.

5. Complete our family.

And this is the most serious and urgent goal I have at the moment. J and I have a specific game plan already, and J seems to have a specific date in mind. But since it is a personal matter, would you mind if I leave off the details? And please pray for us. Thank you!

What about you? What are your goals or resolutions for the incoming year?

12 Things I'm Thankful For This Year

2012 has been a roller coaster ride for me. No kidding. I started the year very clumsy and bloated; I was already 7-months pregnant with Y when January rolled in. And I was blowing chunks, literally. Apparently, pregnancy does not sit well with my body and I had "morning" sickness all throughout the ordeal.

Then, for the first time ever, I gave birth and became a mom. Y's first months with me were very hard because he had to remain admitted in the hospital. I also had postpartum depression. I used to think it was just baby blues, but looking back, I now know it was depression, which was a result of too many factors - which I won't elaborate any longer.

However, the good things that happened to me this year are far too many compared to, well, the not-so-good things. I'm thankful for so many good things that I don't think I even deserve, but I got, because of God's grace. To sum up this year's blessings, here are the 12 things this year that I'm very thankful for:

12 - I'm thankful for being comfortable in my own skin.

I cut my hair this year, and thanks to a misunderstanding with the parlorista, my hair was cut very short, this short:

Not the most flattering photo of me: taken last April, I think

Sure, for the first few days, I spent a lot of time wondering if I can ever go out again. However, logic got the better of me. Who cares how I look like when I go out? Most probably, people will look at Y (who was just almost 2 months at the time) and not at me.

Then, eventually, I started going out by myself. I don't know how but the simple logic got replaced by self-confidence - which stuck to me until now. Now, I can wear dresses, shorts, anything that I usually am too self-conscious to wear. I'm no longer self-conscious ; I can walk knowing that I look good simply because I feel good - maybe because I know I am loved. :-)

11 - I'm thankful for this blog.

I have been blogging since 2008, but it's only this year that I took blogging really seriously. I'm thankful because this blog has been an excellent outlet for me. Working from home discounts me off the benefits of having someone to talk to (read: officemates), so what I did was talk to this blog. I'm also thankful that I was able to buy my own domain name; even though I don't have a huge readership (yet), just seeing my dot com makes me feel like I really, truly, own this nook in cyberspace.

10 - I'm thankful for knowing who my true friends are.

I have spent most of my college life with a lot of friends and org-mates. Then, when I graduated, my circle narrowed down to a trusted few, with whom I shared my utmost feelings and thoughts. Around August this year, a couple of those trusted friends suddenly stopped speaking to us, and I don't even know why. Seriously, I don't even go outside the house. But I let it go already. If they decide to come back, I'll demand for an explanation, but I'll take them back, like I always do. However, I'm thankful for the handful of friends left with me. We may not see each other often, but I know they'll be there for me when I need them - just like how I'll always be here for them.

9 - I'm thankful for having the capacity and desire to give.

For the longest time, I excused myself from giving to others because I thought I needed help, too. I had this "poverty mindset," where I thought I can't possibly give because I can't even afford the things I like. However, God made me realize that by giving, I become richer. Maybe not in the financial sense, but I become richer because I am able to liberate myself from material possessions and even money.

8 - I'm thankful for having a trustworthy Yaya.

I wouldn't have been able to do or experience half of the things I did and experienced this year without Honey, Y's yaya. I'm thankful for being able to find a yaya that is not only trustworthy, but also loves Y as if he's her own little brother. She's still very young and has a lot of flaws (don't we all?), but I'm really very thankful I have her to mind over my baby while I work - and earn.

7 - I'm thankful for being able to bond with my family.

This year, I was able to strengthen my bond with my immediate family. Frankly, from the time I set foot in the university and until I started working, I barely saw my family. I was always too busy with academics, extra-curricular activities, church (not that it's not important), and my boyfriend. Now that I'm working at home and taking care of Y, I see them everyday. More importantly, I'm now able to "treat" them sometimes, which makes me feel better as the oldest daughter in the family.

Right before we left for Cebu: my mom asks for your forgiveness for still wearing pambahay slippers.

6 - I'm thankful for being able to meet my relatives from Cebu.

While most of our relatives (father-side) live in Cebu, we are raised in Davao City. This means we barely see them. In my case, I never even saw most of my relatives before. So when we had a chance to stay in Cebu last October, I couldn't be more thrilled to finally meet the rest of the Laxa clan. And Y, at the tender age of 7 months, was already able to ride a plane for the first time!

With some of my cousins in Cebu's IT park (tama ba?)

5 - I'm thankful for my ability to breastfeed.

Even when I was still a child, I already had my mind set on breastfeeding my children. I didn't know why; my mom didn't even breastfeed us exclusively. So I guess it's DOH's doing. Good job, DOH! Anyway, I'm very thankful that despite Y's birth mishaps, I am able to breastfeed him with virtually no problems. Sure, it hurt like hell the first time, but I was able to adjust soon enough and we never had a problem with latch. :-)

4 - I'm thankful that I have the perfect job.

I can't be more thankful for the job I currently have. If you read my blog regularly, perhaps you've had enough of me saying that it's everything I could ask for. I've been working in Netsourcephil since July 2011, but I only decided to work with them full-time this year, when I resigned from my office job to take care of Y. And now I know it's probably one of the best decisions I have ever made.

3 - I'm thankful that I am able to "spoil" myself sometimes.

Aside from being able to spend as much time as I like with Y, the other perk of my job is that it pays quite nicely. It has already afforded me a few gadgets, which I all bought on cash basis. While none of my gadgets are considered high-end (hello, I don't even have a single Apple gadget), I value them dearly because I paid for them with my own money.

Yes, I succumbed...

Then, I am also able to shop for things that I don't really need but admittedly want. And I am also able to give other people special treats - or something like that. I do need to avoid being overly attached to material possessions, but I am thankful I can finally afford to buy nice things for myself and for other people.

2 - I'm thankful that I can talk to J everyday.

If I can be granted one wish right now, I would wish that J were here instead of there. However, I can't be more thankful that I met someone like him. He never gave up on our relationship, even though it is too complicated. He makes ways to talk to me everyday, even if that means going out in the rain to "make pa-load." Hehehe. But the simple gestures get to me, you know. And I know I wouldn't have to worry about him because I know he loves me and Y too much.

1 - I'm thankful I can be there everyday for Y.

You wouldn't think I can sum up this year without a special entry for Y, would you? I'm a proud mommy, and I think I have all the bragging rights in the world simply because for each of his milestones, I have been there. I never missed any of his firsts, and I plan to remain standing here, watching and supporting Y, while he does more of his firsts. And for this, I am very, very thankful.

J Kwento: My Embarassing Photos

I don't know what has gotten into him, but J's pastime lately is Googling images of me on his phone. I know right? Stalker! Hahaha!

He admitted trying to do it when we weren't together yet, but he felt sneaky doing so. Dapat lang! But now, it's something he does when he's bored.

Of course, these include photos of me waaaay back. Like 5-6 years ago. I would have preferred that he sees only "pretty" pictures of me, but what can I do? I don't own Google!

He's still laughing over this:

I can't even enlarge this due to embarrassment. This photo was taken in UP Mindanao 4 years ago! I was but a teenager. Hahaha! The dress looks good, but my hair? And what's that, mapungay na mga mata? LOL! What's that, 18-year old Maan?!

I don't want to know what other embarrassing photos he has found. Poor me. Hahaha! :-)

I'm dating a keeper

Well, aside from the fact that we already have an 8-month old baby, I really knew from the beginning that J is a keeper. Even before I read this article on Thought Catalog. You haven't read it? Lucky you, because I'm copying it here. You just have to deal with my comments and annotations. :-)

Image taken from Google

32 Signs You’re Dating A Keeper

1. You don’t have to wait three or more hours for a response for a simple text every time you send one.
- Actually, he's the one who has to wait for my reply. He understands my situation (long story) and knows I can only respond when it's "safe."

2. They aren’t embarrassed or put out by introducing you to their friends/including you sometimes in their outings.
- Hindi naman. Proud naman sya sa akin kahit papano. Hahaha!

3. They are willing to give, or at least share, the last slice of pizza.
- Not applicable because he really eats more than what I could eat. In other words, he eats what I couldn't eat anymore.

4. You are not afraid to be yourself around them — your strange humor, your occasionally awkward mannerisms, your interests in things that other people might consider a waste of time.
- Naman! I'm never self-conscious around him. Sya din. Haha!

5. Even if what you like might not be their favorite thing, they are always willing to give things a try if they are important to you.
- I love desserts and sweets, but he doesn't. Kumakain naman sya ng konti kung meron. :P

6. They don’t fill your Facebook wall with inappropriate “OMG baby it’s been almost a week! Miss u so much!”-esque posts, because no one deserves to have to look at that.
- Not applicable. No Facebook. :D

7. They respect not only you, but the people you love in your life — if they are super sweet to you but constantly ragging on your parents/friends, you need to cut them loose.
- Seriously, yes. Despite the issues, I can tell that J really respects my parents because he's always planning on what to say to them later on.

8. You are both able to communicate honestly with each other about your feelings and needs in the relationship without feeling like it’s going to turn into a horrible fight.
- Unfortunately, it's me who likes to pick fights lately. I'd like to blame it on the hormones, but I know it's partly because of the long distance.

9. They are a firm, enthusiastic believer in cunnilingus.
- LOL. TMI.

10. You never feel as though they are slumming it or doing a favor by being with you.
- Never! Swerte nya sa akin no! Hahaha, feeling.

11. They surprise you — and not just with random gifts of flowers or chocolate. They are evolving into a better person from being with you (just as you are with them).
- Yes, yes, yes! I really think he's now a better person. I'd like to think it's because of me, but I know it's because of Y. And, yes, the surprise gifts (flowers, chocolates, etc.) are great, too!

12. You don’t have to have some extravagant night in an expensive restaurant in order to both enjoy the evening and feel appreciated.
- Not applicable. We're both uncomfortable with formal settings.

13. There is never a question as to how they actually feel about you.
- Yes. If ever I questioned something about the relationship, most often it's because of my own insecurities, not because of something he did. Then all I need to do is tell him I need reassurance.

14. Sex isn’t used as a placeholder for other emotions that might not be there, or not be there in high enough quantities.
- Hindi naman. Actually di ko naintindihan. Hahaha.

15. They are just as capable of having a ridiculous night in, eating junk food and watching crappy TV, as they are of shining up and attending an important event.
- Oh yes. The nights-in I miss. :-(

16. Your mom likes them.
- Oh. Next please! No, seriously, I honestly think my mom just needs to get to know him better. Mothers are not perfect. I can say that without hesitation, because how many times did I let Y chew on a toy that I haven't cleaned yet?

17. You are capable of both doing your own thing from time to time without the other becoming irrationally jealous, suspicious, or angry.
-  We're both jealous people. A little jealousy goes a long way in a relationship, as long as it's the "cute" type. Teehee. So no, not irrationally jealous, suspicious, or angry.

18. There is never any doubt that they are thinking of you, that they consider your feelings, and that you are important to their life.
- Naman. :-)

19. You both have generally similar visions of the future, and what you want out of life. (You don’t want there to come a moment where things can go no further because, say, one absolutely wants children and the other absolutely doesn’t.)
- Yes, we have generally the same outlook, although he's more grounded and I'm more ambitious. I mean, who doesn't want to become a young millionaire?

20. If you suffer a moment of weakness or need help with something, they are eager to support you and not shame you for being incapable of handling it on your own.
- Yes. :-)

21. If they’re straight, they don’t say f*g, and if they’re white, they don’t say the n-word. (Any keeper needs basic home training.)
- Never did a bad word come from his mouth, seriously. He doesn't even curse and swear. And I'm so proud of him because of that.

22. They don’t make fun of your taste in music/pop culture/entertainment. (Well, a little teasing is fine, but they shouldn’t be seriously judging you over it.)
- No, but I tease him hahaha.

23. They encourage and support you in pursuing your dreams in life.
- YES. :-)

24. You feel welcome and comfortable around their family — even if no future in-laws are perfect.
- Yes. When I went to Surigao, they didn't treat me like a stranger. And in their place, "family" means entire neighborhood. Literally.

25. There aren’t any secrets between the two of you, or things about yourselves which you feel you need to seriously hide from one another.
- No secrets at all. Well, maybe except for the fact that I just ordered new clothes for Y. Again.

26. They are proud of you.
- Of course. I am, too. :-)

27. There is no pressure for either of you to adhere to strict, completely outdated gender roles — or a feeling that, if you don’t, the other isn’t attracted to you anymore.
- He clearly prefers conservative women, but he doesn't expect me to act like one all the time.

28. Your friends enjoy being around them, and generally think that they are a cool person who is good for you.
- I think so? I think they like him. Friends?

29. They make you laugh, laugh so hard you can’t breathe, laugh so much that you don’t care if you’re doing your “ugly, weird, cackly/snorty laugh.” (And they love your laugh.)
- Hahahaha yes. But I make him laugh even harder. Hahahaha.

30. You are capable of having thoughtful, intelligent discussions about subjects that — even if you don’t necessarily agree on the topic at hand — teach both of you something and remain respectful.
- Yes. I remember the time when we discussed mining, and taxes, and PhilHealth, and how he caught a bullfrog. Oh wait.

31. You feel fully comfortable around them naked, in bright afternoon light.
- Ang TMI naman neto.

32. You reciprocate all of these things for them, and are excited at the prospect of being a better, smarter, more caring person because of the healthy way in which you love one another.
- Yes, yes, yes. :-)

Based on my annotations, I think J scored a healthy 99%. Oh wait, I'm not good in Math. I was just guessing. Hahaha! But seriously, before I read the content of the article, before I even came upon it, I had no doubt that J is a keeper. I'm very lucky to have him, and I'm even luckier to be loved by someone like him. This post makes me miss him even more.

Arte-arte. :P

20 Months and 10 Reasons

Today's our 20th month as a couple. I've written this letter originally for our second anniversary, but guess what? I couldn't wait. Hahaha. Anyway, here is the letter I wrote for J:

I love you because we can talk about anything: from serious things like news, mundane things like work, to weird things like how to prepare octopus. 

I love you because you're annoyingly kind and understanding. Even when I'm unreasonable. 

I love you because you cry - and admit it. 

I love you because you love Y very much, even when you're not here with us. 

I love you because you always make me feel beautiful and loved. 

I love you because of your sense of humor - and the Surigao-non jokes that I will never understand. Hehe :P

I love you because you give me time for silence when I'm mad. 

I love you because you rarely get mad. Just kidding. If there's one thing I can change, I wish you would get mad at me more often. 

I love you because you exert the effort to discover my world, as you take me into yours. 

I love you because you never gave up on us: not when my family told you so, not when your friends told you so, not even when I told you so.

Well, the point is that I love you. And even when there are many reasons why I shouldn't, it's the reasons why I do that matter.

Dy, I know there's no internet connection where you are now. But I hope you'll be able to read this, say, before November. LOL. :P

Cheers to more cheesy posts in the future! XOXO